The 5 worst gifts you can give your girlfriend!

gift boxesAfter a long investment of love, time and energy into a relationship you deem serious, one would expect at some point the gifts will be on par with the status level of said relationship. Now what does that mean? It means, gentlemen, that if you’ve managed to stick with the same wonderful woman sexually, emotionally and mentally there are occasions where buying her a “girly basket” filled with lotions and shampoo from bath and body works just does not work. Now as women, it often feels as though we are innately aware of the business of gift giving for our partners and it’s importance sometimes more so than men.

We start off more in love, generally, and planning a future with you months into the relationship and thus are more thoughtful  and caring about our gift giving. We will remember that you always wanted that watch with the leather band just like your dads from childhood. We will remember that you need  a new 9 iron to complete that set of your favorite golf clubs.

After all we are women, generally born more fabulous, gifted and more knowledgable about almost everything. 🙂 But some of you fools in love are 3 and 4 and 5 years in and you still can’t comprehend that a pair of mittens or a coffee mug for your anniversary gift will result in a possible silent cry session by your girlfriend. You know what I am talking about ladies, where your disappointment is so shocking to you that you start laughing nervously all the while gritting your teeth in an attempt to hold back tears as not to seem ungrateful in front of your man. You love him but you can’t understand how he could have been silly enough to think that when you said “I don’t need anything for Valentines day” what you were actually saying in your head was “Of course he knows me well enough to get me something super special.” Sad but so true gentlemen.

My mister, the fabulous Red is a fabulous gift giver. Mainly because he utilizes the effect of surprise. All year at random times he will give me little things I have seen or something I might really need but didn’t buy myself. He makes sure that no matter what I say about not wanting anything on silly holidays (like Valentines day) that I feel special anyways. Big or small anytime he gives me a gift he makes sure it’s something I am over joyed with. Always. Simply said, he pays attention. He never forgets those tiny things that will make me absolutely over joyed. Now I am not sure if he is writing things down or something but I tell you, he gets it right all the time. He also often will get me the types of gifts that I will have forever and have to take care of, making them that much more special.

So here is a simple compilation of gifts gone wrong and ones not to get your girlfriend on any occasion if you love her and foresee a future.

1. Slippers for Valentines day.– Now this may sound like a perfect gift for such an occasion, especially if you are celebrating it away in a cozy cabin alone and there is a fabulous hot tub there and champagne and gorgeous plush robes, in which they are quite appropriate if they are nice slippers. However if you say, take your lady out to a mediocre  sub-standard Mexican restaurant and then give her a pair of those 5$ foot softening socks/slippers that are then not wrapped and expect some kind of joy or any joy at all for that matter, don’t hold your breath. ( This happened to me with an ex-boyfriend many years ago and I had to pretend to be excited about the slippers all throughout dinner) Just don’t it.

2. Don’t buy jewelry unless it is real! – Gentlemen if your mama didn’t teach you this or if she did and you just weren’t paying attention then you are hearing it here and now. Do not buy your girlfriend/wife/partner jewelry of any kind for a special occasion that is made of 50 % gold and 50% nickel, ,aluminum or brass. No tennis bracelets or necklaces that will turn their skin green in 3 weeks. It’s not a snobby thing, it has much more to do with caring about someone and overall tact. Unless you’re in the 7th grade, you can no longer purchase jewelry for women that came from a vending machine or some such other place. Just don’t do it. Save your ducats and get her that something special from Zales or wherever that you know she will truly appreciate and can wear for years to come. And if jewelry isn’t your forte than leave it use your brain to actually think about whatever will make your woman all teary eyed.

3. Candy and flowers. – Candy and flowers a  wonderful gift and always always are appreciated….if your sick in the hospital. Or if your in a new relationship, or better yet if you have been together for many years and your hubby brings them home just to make you smile. However there are many occasions where these just will not do. Say, for Christmas. Yes I have seen this. Candy and flowers are a great addition to a special occasion but they can get old if you give them no matter the occasion.

4. No re-gifting! – You can not under any circumstances give your current girlfriend or lover something you already  own, was already a gift for someone else or something another woman left at your apt. that weekend you had a few too many beers. I have actually experienced this one too. I once saw, a long time ago, the new girlfriend of an ex-boyfriend of mine wearing a custom piece of jewelry that I had left at his apt during our break-up. I didn’t want to go back and get it so I just chalked it up to a break up and counted my losses. How tacky is that though. Just get her something new.

5. Clothing made from odd material. Lingerie and clothing are some of the hardest gifts to shop for your lady. It’s a steamy pot of hot water to get into if you don’t know her well enough to know what to get or if you’re a terrible gift giver. For example: Do not under any circumstances give clothing made from velvet, velour, polyester blends of varying kinds, anything super flammable like those cheap-y pj’s you get at those stores in the mall that are always “Going out of business!” and must “Sell everything!”.  Don’t get her a cashmere sweater in the middle of summer or an under garments made from that strange lace that itches every time you breathe. Just think, if you wouldn’t put it on your skin why the hell would we?

Alright-y folks, that’s it Do everything you need to do gentlemen to help you in your quest to remind your lady she is always on your mind and no matter what it is, big or small she will love it I am sure.

 

 

By the way my views on this topic are not a reflection of greed or snobbery but I feel strongly that if there is indeed gift giving or you actually care about someone then your gifts should reflect this. No matter what kind of gift, it should have thought put into it and given in true love.

Ok that’s it…go forth and be merry!

❤ Cassandra

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