Public Service Annoucement: “Side face kissing”

Cartoon by: Jeff Thomas

Cartoon by: Jeff Thomas

So I don’t know the reasoning behind all this side face kissing in this country, but this is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT to inform the community of the hazards of side face kissing, inappropriate hugging and other overly friendly greetings. In no way whatsoever is it okay to walk through life greeting mere acquaintances or worse, strangers with your actual face, mouth or lower body appendages.

1. When in a group and your choosing to be apart of a  community gathering, why don’t you also choose to display some manners. Don’t kiss me on my cheek, “friend of my boyfriends cousin” or whoever you are, whom I’m meeting for the first time. I’m unaware  of your prior mouth history and your unaware of the sensitivity levels of my skin therefore keep it clean and shake my hand. Thanks!

2. A polite nod is indeed acceptable when saying goodbye if I can’t physically get close enough to hug you goodbye. Feel free to even use one of the two hands you were born with and maybe wave goodbye. I won’t be offended that we couldn’t hug it out upon your exit. If for some reason you are hand-less then this doesn’t apply to you of course.

3. Ladies of the universe, I’m not sure how you feel about this, though it hardly matters but in no way whatsoever is it allowed or okay for you to greet my man with a full body hug. Not including close friends and family I suppose, in which case you will get a pass. However, even if your boobies are small, you’re an inadvertently clumsy hugger or you simply have never been told, you keep your whole self a decent 2-3 feet away from my man’s body at all times during a hello hug.

The above isn’t a jealousy thing everyone. It’s gross and weird and straight up inappropriate in my book. To avoid dirty looks from me for the rest of the day, try the hand shaking thing. Also, if you were born and raised in some part of the world where face kissing is normal than I suppose you are exempt…I am specifically talking to all the other folks out there who neither learned nor realize that a hug need not last for a full 7 minutes long.

4. No touching Men’s face/beard area!Never under any circumstances are you to side face kiss, smooch sound kiss or touch my man or any man other than your owns face. Being drunk isn’t really an excuse for touching on his beard and face. I get it, that fire beard is like the sun, you know you shouldn’t stare too long for fear of retinal damage but it’s so beautiful and awe-inspiring you can’t help yourself  and sometimes you’ll catch some dumb ass people who do it anyways. A polite evil eye stare from me might turn into more vicious words that may hurt your feelings. For public safety reasons let’s try to avoid this at all costs. 🙂

The reason I even mention the above is because I have noticed that women in particular seem to have no qualms about touching a mans face or beard, but if it were reversed and men casually touched the faces or hair of women they didn’t really know the cops would get called.

5.  Personal hygiene care. Carry portable hand sanitizer on your person at all times, in the event of a potential hand shake greeting, apply sanitizer to hands immediately after, rubbing vigorously until it has evaporated. This is just a good one to help keep us all safe from all this side face kissing, hand shaking and close hugging that we all seem to need to do several times in one outing.

6.  Hair touching! For no reason and under no circumstances are you to reach in the direction of my fabulously salon like flowing tresses to alert me to the fact that you like my hair, the volume, texture or color. This is a good way to ensure one or more broken fingers, which might result in substantial medical bills, which in turn will be horrible for you if you are poorly insured or lack health insurance all together. You then might have to put down a fake name in the ER since you don’t have insurance and that’s bad for our economy. So save the tax payers the hassle of having to pay for your medical bills because you had to run out on them, all because you felt like it was smart to touch my hair. This has happened to me more than you would expect btw. I too have seen a fabulous head of wonderful curls that mesmerized me for a moment. I have not and will now however ever actually touch a strangers actual head where their actual hair is because well….it’s pretty creepy. If we are not lovers then why do you feel the need to run your fingers through anyone’s hair?

7. For the safety and health of the community including those who are elderly, the infirm and those with poor immune systems but mostly for those who suffer from a lack of patience and the inability to deal with obscene tom-foolery, let’s follow the rules and guidelines for appropriate greetings, goodbyes and general body space awareness.

This has been a public service announcement!



What are IBU’s in beer.

I always seem to come across new and unknown terminology in the beer world. Its exciting when you can use that lingo when trying to comb through your drink choices at your local pub or during that brewery visit you had been putting off for so long. I also find it extremely helpful when choosing beer at the supermarket. For example, knowing what IBU’s are and what that means in relation to what type of beer you might be looking for is great and very helpful. Sometimes there is a nice little description on the six-pack or bottle of beer but it isn’t always that useful in helping you to decide based on flavor or even knowing what it actually might taste like.

IBU refers to International Bitterness Unit scale which is standard for measuring the amount of hops  in your beer. (Or the concentration of bitter hop acids in any given beer) That’s right folks, and its super helpful for hop heads, white beer and pale ale drinkers alike. IBU measurement is helpful for not only those of us who seek out that super bitter, hoppy flavor but also for those of you who hate hoppy beer. Just simply check out the IBU’s on your beer bottle and you’ll know if your going to regret buying a 24 pack of said beer or not. Often a very hoppy beer will have an IBU of perhaps 75 or 80 which is high, for obvious reasons and a more malty beer or even a light beer might have an IBU of somewhere around 30.

                                                                Let’s get down to the science of it!

More specifically IBU’s in a beer refer to the amount of Isohumolone, the acid that occurs in hops that actually gives your beer its bite.

Isohumolones, the chemical compounds that contribute to the bitterness level are themselves in another class of compounds known as isoalpha acids.

                                                          How it works chemically….If your interested. :-)

For all you darlings out there who absolutely loved second period of high school because you had chemistry class, then you might appreciate this seemingly useless information. Although, knowledge is power so who knows when you will need to know how the hops are broken down chemically in beer, right?

One IBU corresponds to one part-per-million of isohumolone. When beer is exposed to the light, the compounds decompose in a reaction catalyzed by riboflavin to then make a free radical species by the hemolytic cleavage of the exocyclic carbon-carbon bond. Whewww, what a mouthful!. The cleaved acyl-side chain radical then decomposes some more and then expels or releases carbon monoxide and creating 1,1 dimenthylallyl radical. This radical will finally react with sulfur containing amino acids, like cysteine to create 3-methyl but-2-ene-1-thiol. A thiol which causes your beer to taste “skunky” or “hoppy” or “bitter” or whatever you’d like to call it. Voila! That’s it!

What it looks like…..

isohumulone (hop acids in beer)

So that’s it, I hope this was more informative and interesting than boring, also there is a little list of other relevent beer and brewing terms. 🙂 ❤ Cassandra





Other Beer and brewing terminology

Aerobic– An organism, such as top-fermenting ale yeast, that needs oxygen to metabolize.

ABV– Alcohol By Volume- Amount of alcohol in beer in terms of percentage volume of alcohol per volume of beer.

Ale– Beers distinguished by use of top-fermenting yeast strains, often fruitiness is part of the character of ales.

Anaerobic– An organism such as bottom-fermented lager yeast, that is able to metabolize without oxygen present.

Barrel– A unit of measurement used by brewers in some countries. In Britain a Barrel holds 36 imperial gallons ( 1 imperial gallon= 4.5 US liters) ( or 1.63 hectoliters). A US  barrel holds 31.5 US gallons ( 1 US gallon = 3.8 liters) or 1.7 hectoliters.

Black malt– Partially malted barley, roasted at high temperatures. Black malt gives a dark color and roasted flavor to beer.

A decade of life lessons from 90’s action stars


For all you 80’s babies out there you understand, probably, how important 90’s action stars and the movies they were in actually were to us. They helped to raise us in a way and guided us through a decade of giant gold hoop earrings, puffy starter jackets and way too many eyebrow piercings. 90’s action stars made us believe we could face that bully on the playground despite the fact that a round house kick is incredibly difficult to pull off when your 12. I mean, there is  a whole generation of kids that learned problem skills solely from Macgyver. The 90’s was a great time to be a kid I think and we should reflect on and celebrate how those bold and brave fictional characters have changed our lives for the better. Here we go! The following action stars are placed in no particular order whatsoever.

Mel Gibson- Mel will get his revenge if you try to take his freedom, he is a brave-heart, that one. He’s a romantic, a priest, a soldier or celtic farmer gone rogue and John Smith in Pocohontas. Teaching us about the wonders of bi-racial love and the need to always keep your eye out for aliens invading through your Oklahoma corn field. . Thanks Mel!

Tom Cruise- Furiously running throughout every movie as though being chased and like 80 % of the time there is no one actually chasing him. I don’t know about you but I took up track in high school coming in 3rd place in every single race so thanks Tom! No mission is impossible.

Nicholas Cage- Loud for no reason other than he can be and has the most impeccable man weave in the industry. Nick taught me about anger management and how it can help us throughout life and also that there is nothing wrong with rocking a good floor length duster or finger-less sorcerer gloves. Refer to the Nick Cage freak-out montage below . 🙂 Your welcome.



steven seagalSteven Seagal- Taught me how to fight without moving my actual body and how to run with straight arms in the event I might need to.Which may sounds weird but I can assure you, the Kung Fu I think I can do because of Steven Seagal is almost impeccable. He is hard to kill and few people know this but Steven Seagal help boost the hair gel industry to new heights all by himself in the 90’s. I had to reject the boys on the playground who weren’t trying to put their hair into an overly tight gelled pony tail.

Wesley Snipes- Taught us that white men can’t jump but they can bite you with fangs in a dark alley so you gotta watch your back. Along side pocohantas he taught me that theres nothing wrong with a little jungle fever, although I don’t think there is a cure. 🙂 I even learned that you better not act up on airplanes because you never know who passenger 57 is, he may just be Wesley Snipes ready to court marshall your ass. I’d also like to give a firm thank you to Mr. Snipes for giving us 3 Blade movies. I can’ even begin to explain how it helps me when I have to stay in for a week when I have the flu or something.

Chuck Norris-  Walker Texas Ranger, enough said. I think of him in the gym at least once a week. Talk about motivation! And for your reading pleasure I’ve placed some Chuck Norris facts below. Enjoy.



Arnold Schwarzenegger- Arnold showed me that there is indeed a job position known as Kindergarten cop. I also learned that expressing every emotion one might have in a monotone voice at all times is possible. Sometimes for no reason at all, I yell at times I deem appropriate, my favorite Arnold one-liners. Give it a try the next time your in a rush to get somewhere, then yell “Get in the chopper!!!!” or “It’s not a tumor!” the next time your getting your yearly dental cleaning. It really makes for a higher quality of life. Thanks Arnold.

Pierce Brosnan- The classiest of the action stars by far, fighting among the elite against villians of all magnitudes, he’s never afraid to chase down a bad guy through flames and gun fire all the while never wrinkling his perfect 3 piece suit or ruining the latest luxury car out. I learned how to take care of my things from Pierce and also that there is always time for tea no matter how many impending world destruction scenarios there might be at play. Thanks Pierce!

harrison ford

Harrison Ford- Seemingly middle-aged throughout his whole on screen career, good ol’ Indie taught us to never give up. Through the amazonian jungles and into the under worlds of sci-fi thrillers he showed me that with either whip or jedi powers I can conquer anything. I also became an avid fan of the jungle hat that I think we call Fedora’s now. It has upped my fashion sense exponentially.

jcvdJean Claude Van Damme- So much to say about Jean Claude, I was definitely the only little girl in my ballet classes doing splits because JCVD was doing them in every single movie he has ever made. Always managing to use the same name or a variation of the same name in every movie, JCVD taught me the importance of recycling, stretching before a Kumite match and that there us absolutely nothing wrong with a very low v-neck spandex tank top.  Dulph Lundgren-  An honorable mention to the almighty Dulph Lundgren who always plays a bad guy in a movie who seems to have no fewer than 5 – 10 lines. He is awesome in his own right and definitely probably taught us something about something.

Thank you 90’s action film stars for showing us the way to truly live our lives like a fictional karate, gun slinging hero. Also, one of the bigger life lessons I have learned from several of my favorite 90’s action stars on this list was to pay my taxes or the government will get ya! Apparently if you owe them 20 million dollars they will put you in jail, or force you to make 4 B-rated movies a year until you can pay it off.  So… you know, pay your taxes folks.



My top 90’s action movies

Jungle Fever

True Lies


Kindegarten Cop

Lethal Weapon

Every JCVD movie ever made

Hard to kill

Passenger 57

Out for justice

Top gun


Forever young

Die hard

Marked for death












10 signs you should get a divorce.

divorce cartoon

As someone who is has neither been married nor divorced, perhaps my perspective on the topics are bit skewed, but I don’t think so. As someone who is however, engaged to be married and have had a fair amount of married friends/relatives over the years, I feel my view is actually un-biased and therefore true. Judge for yourself though. Having said that, its pretty heart breaking to me when it seems like the whole world can see when a couple is headed for a collision course except the couple themselves. Or perhaps your beliefs lead you to believe you have no other choice but to suffer through a love-less, poisonous, ratched-ass marriage simply because you made vows to the wrong person. Or worst, perhaps you keep telling yourself ” Well we have to work it out for the kids”.  As if two adults being unhappy regularly somehow sends good messages to kids about commitment and love. Well I am here to tell you this is not the case and happiness only happens if you make it happen but sadness and despair are what happens when you let them.

  1. If you say you hate your spouse on a regular basis or to random strangers and you actually mean it, guess what? Think about that divorce you have been putting off. And on the plus side if you don’t have many financial assets to fight over then you can get a divorce for like 500$. It’s probably time.

  2. If your husband sleeps with a woman who is not you one month before your wedding and you then proceed to still get married you are going to be googling this article in the near future, to which I say it’s probably time to serve him with those papers. Or better yet maybe too much time hasn’t passed for you to get an annulment.

  3. If the idea of sex, hugging, cuddling or touching your spouse repulses you, you need to get a divorce and find someone who you do actually want to touch every day for the rest of your life. Just saying…I know and have known way too many married people who think it’s perfectly normal to be legal roommates and then wonder why folks sleeping around on them. Marry someone you wanna touch forever or stick to dating until you do.

  4. If you have done couples therapy and your therapist  hates both of you, tries to cancel your regularly scheduled sessions and mysteriously is on “vacation” several times a year, they think you should get a divorce and have little hope for your future together and don’t want to tell you. Get the hint.

  5. If you cry more than you smile it might be time to wrap it up folks. Despite popular belief Love doesn’t hurt. Loss does. Too many of you out there have it twisted.

  6. If your spouse abuses you verbally,  you may think ” Well I’m not being beat” to which I would say you need to get a grip on reality and hold on real tight. Any form of abuse is unacceptable, including verbal and emotional. Get a divorce because you deserve absolute love, everyday. After all, the vows you took didn’t say ” I promise to love through good times and then stop when I feel like it”. Did they?

Sidenote: The next thing that happens statistically in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship after enough time is usually physical violence.

  1. If you married for money and then found out that there really isn’t that much money to be had, do yourself a favor and get a divorce and maybe give sugar daddies a try or something. Marriage is supposed to be about partnership and love and all that stuff….remember?

  2. If you got married when you were 19 because you thought the next “natural” step of your high school, adolescent love was marriage and the best the thing to do, and your now wondering a decade later “We have grown into such different people, what happened?” then the answer is in the first part of this sentence.

Sidenote ^ It should be said that I absolutely believe true and real love can happen and be experience at any age at all, even marrying young can definitely work out. However I have a serious problem with people who don’t realize that marriage isn’t the next “natural step” in part of life. It is to be cherished and not taken lightly. Let’s not conform to societies or your silly under developed teenage minds ideas of what we must do. All you must do is be happy.

  1. If you stay married because you have children.. then your stupid. So sorry but the ability to procreate after you have legally tied the knot doesn’t mean your marriage is working or right. Kids aren’t stupid and they can sense and feel unhappiness, misery and bullshit in adults better than we can. So you’re not doing anyone a favor. Least of all them.

  2. I don’t have anything for ten… but I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the vows that we take when we choose, of our volition, to spend our whole life with one person. However don’t make vows you can’t keep. What I mean by this is that, the divorce rate in this country is still 50 % and climbing. There is a reason for this. People seem to think marriage is some kind of next step of an okay relationship when if fact that is not it at all. Sometimes I wonder if when people decide to get married if they realize that the intention of it is literally to be forever. So keeping that in mind you would think people would be more careful who they chose to take these vows with. Either way, it’s not a bad thing if it turns out horrible and you choose to leave.  There is no judgement in two adults choosing to do the right thing if divorce is indeed right for you.

Start a new and live happy.



How to be a wino!


street winos

Websters Dictionary defines Wino as a – noun, informal, a person who drinks excessive amounts of cheap wine or other alcohol, especially one who is homeless.

The Urban Dictionary defines Wino as – someone who props up walls in the street, drinking an unidentifiable drink ( it needn’t be wine, could also be special brew, spirits, buckfast or light beer) out of a paper bag whilst swearing incoherently and dribbling.

Well…..I am here to inform you that it need not be the case. It no longer requires strolling through the city under passes enjoying you spirit of choice in brown paper bags. No sir. So the dictionary and thus society says you must be homeless? But why? I can assure you there is a new brand of wino emerging in the community. And I have seen them, I have drunk with them and observed them in what has now been determined to be their natural habitat.

You may be surprised to know I found an entire group of what seemed to be well versed winos, all middle-aged, middle-upper class, well dressed and recently showered folks jamming out to a folk/bluegrass band in none other than a wine bar. That’s right. It was a dim-lit and small rustic styled establishment boasting 20$ glasses of Grenache, hand made barstools made from spruce pine and cocktail tables crafted from salvaged wood by a local craftsman. I can assure you there was no dribbling or paper bags in sight.

It happened early in the evening while leaving the Lexington Ave Brewery. It was a beautifully February day downtown. After two pitchers of “Wave Grain” pale ale, a plate of fancy cheeses and another plate of wonderfully baked blueberry shortbread that was to die for ( we attempted to purchase a 1/2 pound of the shortbread but couldn’t do so due to short supply or something) we found ourselves strolling in the fresh air up a small hill towards this sound. A sound I originally thought was a Ron Burgundy style jazz flute player. It turned out to be a 3 man folk/bluegrass band consisting of a mandolin player, a singer/electric fiddle player named Meade (so awesome!) and a guy on the acoustic guitar. And they bedazzled us in their urban overalls, Nike sneakers and fresh pressed corduroy blazers. It was fantastical!

They played as though no one was listening and as I sipped my glass of Malbec, I was entranced. As was every other person packed in the small space. All slapping away at their knees or tapping a finger on the hand carved wooden tables perfectly buffed and shined. The patrons were a wonderful amalgamation of long-haired 30 somethings just arriving from yoga class and bearded 40 somethings holding their ladies tight in their arms and neatly eating their goat cheese plate. Even better than that was the 50 somethings that had posted up in the corner adjacent to the band playing a friendly game of Rummy over white wine and great music. They even invited our friend to play with them. It was warm and welcoming and the wine kept a flowing.

Reba Macintire was in attendance, or at least her doppelgänger was and I caught a glimpse of a 60-year-old cowboy jiving out like there was no tomorrow.

The wine bar we were at was 5 Walnut and the band was “The Honey Chasers”.

Wanna start down the path of Wino living? Well here are some guidelines to get you started.


A true wino, after enjoying several of glasses of wine that basically add up to an entire bottle, puts cash in the bands tip jar at the end of their set and then proceeds to offer an invitation for drinks at the local dive bar down the road.

Always order wine or an old school cocktail, never order anything with the word “breeze” in it or a “sex on the beach” or you will immediately be asked to leave the Wino facilities.

However never be afraid to enjoy your brew of choice as a good wino bar will almost certainly have great beer options for those out there who prefer that. Apparently beer isn’t frowned upon with this group. 🙂

winos13Always remember Do Not, under any circumstances drink malt liquor of any kind, that doesn’t make you a wino it makes you a fucking hobo. Don’t ask for malt liquor or other spirits that are equally as tacky. They won’t have them anyways.

Enjoy said drinks while listening to live music the likes of folk, flamenco, jazz/exotica, rhumba and of course my favorite, gypsy jazz.

All in all there is a new movement of wino happening, one made up of actual grown ups who shower and jam out to cool jazzy like music while enjoying what most would consider over priced drinks. They are a fabulous bunch that seem rare but are growing in numbers continuously. Sip and enjoy!

Hope you enjoyed this very informative life lesson.

❤ Cassandra



Beer of the month: Sierra Nevada- Torpedo Extra IPA

February’s Beer of the Month is by Sierra Nevada…none other than the Torpedo, Extra IPA!!! Welcome.


With so many hops going on in this beer from Sierra Nevada I barely know where to start. There are so many citrus highlights to this one. After its been perfectly poured into your pint glass, sitting there a rich golden amber color topped with a beautifully white fluffy white head, the aroma coming off of it as you raise your glass to toast to life is abundantly orange-y and zesty. The flavor on the first sip is fruity and extremely hoppy all at the same time. Somehow, though it manages not to be so overwhelming. It’s an inviting aroma and an even more welcoming flavor that lets you through the front door of happy beer drinking. That is how I felt as I drank it.

Torpedo is dry-hopped which means they add whole-cone hops to the fermentation tanks. So by adding hops to cold beer this allows for any aromatic oils and resin  to basically infuse the beer with tons of flavor and yummy smells without adding any extra bitterness that may not be wanted.


Sierra Nevada actually dry hops this beer slightly differently than the traditional way, they invented a new method of adding the hops to a stainless steel device filled with whole coned hops. They then circulate the fermenting beer in and out of the tank, manipulating the temperature, time and speed thus being able to better control specific aromas they are trying to achieve. Well, its working because Torpedo is a force to be reckoned with. A super nova of a beer.

At 7.2 % Abv the IBU’s are 65, not surprisingly, it is an IPA after all.

The ingredients include:

Yeast- ale yeast

Bittering hops- Magnum

Finishing Hops- Magnum, Crystal, Citra

Malts- two-row Pale, Caramel

So try it and drink merrily!

I am working on making sure I add great snacks and food pairings with my beer of the month… So keep your eyes out for that in “Fantastic Foods” soon.!!!



Beer highlights——> White Zombie!

white zombie beer can

This months highlight is written for the taste buds of my better half, the always wonderful Red. For his love of great brews is almost as fabulous as his fire beard. And so here is a nod to my love.

White Zombie put out by Catawba Brewery Co. in North Carolina, also the birthplace of Red.

ABV 5.1 % – Belgium Witbier, un-malted wheat and light bodied.

Interestingly enough my mister doesn’t exactly dress up for Halloween, like he will let me create a Halloween decoration to be adhered via velcro to his t-shirt, this allows for the removal of it when he sees fit throughout the evening. And yet…. he did manage to discover this gem at a bar one night out in Asheville, NC while we were visiting his hometown, in a cute little bar called “East Village”.  More to the point, White Zombie was originally a Halloween seasonal brew and I guess it’s fabulous flair and taste was just too good to come round but once  a year so it’s now available all year-long. Yay!

Flavor Profile-

It has coriander and orange peel flavors giving it a zesty kind of spice that is super enjoyable.

It’s quite cloudy because it is un-filtered but surprisingly has a really nice amount of carbonation that I honestly didn’t expect but enjoyed. Although not very hoppy at all it is a really well-rounded Witbier.


And to wrap up this really fantastic white beer that you absolutely must try if you love Wheat beer….White Zombie is available in either keg or can versions. So if you need to get your frat party started with something classier than the keg at your last frat party or if you just simply are ok with 12 oz of canned and carbonated yumminess to tuck into your koozie then your good on both fronts. I haven’t seen any Catawba brews in a bottle however, do not be discouraged, a great canned beer just might make your day. I actually have a strong appreciation for them and here are the reasons I found why:

The cans used to house canned beer are made of an incredibly thin aluminum which is then sprayed with a polymer that seals and actually separates the beer inside from the can itself, which is actually a good thing. As the aluminum used in modern-day cans is so thin that the beer would probably eat through it without that lining before it went from store to home.

Some people raise their eyebrows to canned beer due to the illusion of some metallic taste that actually isn’t there. It’s impossible for it to actually taste metallic, refer to the paragraph above. According to a number of tastes tests and experiments conducted by beer packaging companies, experts, beer aficionados and brewers this isn’t even slightly possible.

A little Side note and therefore no experiment needed for me: Most people often prefer draught beer to canned. However when those neurons of yours really start firing you realize draught beer is stored in a metal keg….and canned beer is kind of like a mini keg. So boom there it is!. 🙂

Sip and act like a zombie when doing so, mostly because it’s a lot of fun to pretend to be a zombie.