The 5 worst gifts you can give your girlfriend!

gift boxesAfter a long investment of love, time and energy into a relationship you deem serious, one would expect at some point the gifts will be on par with the status level of said relationship. Now what does that mean? It means, gentlemen, that if you’ve managed to stick with the same wonderful woman sexually, emotionally and mentally there are occasions where buying her a “girly basket” filled with lotions and shampoo from bath and body works just does not work. Now as women, it often feels as though we are innately aware of the business of gift giving for our partners and it’s importance sometimes more so than men.

We start off more in love, generally, and planning a future with you months into the relationship and thus are more thoughtful  and caring about our gift giving. We will remember that you always wanted that watch with the leather band just like your dads from childhood. We will remember that you need  a new 9 iron to complete that set of your favorite golf clubs.

After all we are women, generally born more fabulous, gifted and more knowledgable about almost everything. 🙂 But some of you fools in love are 3 and 4 and 5 years in and you still can’t comprehend that a pair of mittens or a coffee mug for your anniversary gift will result in a possible silent cry session by your girlfriend. You know what I am talking about ladies, where your disappointment is so shocking to you that you start laughing nervously all the while gritting your teeth in an attempt to hold back tears as not to seem ungrateful in front of your man. You love him but you can’t understand how he could have been silly enough to think that when you said “I don’t need anything for Valentines day” what you were actually saying in your head was “Of course he knows me well enough to get me something super special.” Sad but so true gentlemen.

My mister, the fabulous Red is a fabulous gift giver. Mainly because he utilizes the effect of surprise. All year at random times he will give me little things I have seen or something I might really need but didn’t buy myself. He makes sure that no matter what I say about not wanting anything on silly holidays (like Valentines day) that I feel special anyways. Big or small anytime he gives me a gift he makes sure it’s something I am over joyed with. Always. Simply said, he pays attention. He never forgets those tiny things that will make me absolutely over joyed. Now I am not sure if he is writing things down or something but I tell you, he gets it right all the time. He also often will get me the types of gifts that I will have forever and have to take care of, making them that much more special.

So here is a simple compilation of gifts gone wrong and ones not to get your girlfriend on any occasion if you love her and foresee a future.

1. Slippers for Valentines day.– Now this may sound like a perfect gift for such an occasion, especially if you are celebrating it away in a cozy cabin alone and there is a fabulous hot tub there and champagne and gorgeous plush robes, in which they are quite appropriate if they are nice slippers. However if you say, take your lady out to a mediocre  sub-standard Mexican restaurant and then give her a pair of those 5$ foot softening socks/slippers that are then not wrapped and expect some kind of joy or any joy at all for that matter, don’t hold your breath. ( This happened to me with an ex-boyfriend many years ago and I had to pretend to be excited about the slippers all throughout dinner) Just don’t it.

2. Don’t buy jewelry unless it is real! – Gentlemen if your mama didn’t teach you this or if she did and you just weren’t paying attention then you are hearing it here and now. Do not buy your girlfriend/wife/partner jewelry of any kind for a special occasion that is made of 50 % gold and 50% nickel, ,aluminum or brass. No tennis bracelets or necklaces that will turn their skin green in 3 weeks. It’s not a snobby thing, it has much more to do with caring about someone and overall tact. Unless you’re in the 7th grade, you can no longer purchase jewelry for women that came from a vending machine or some such other place. Just don’t do it. Save your ducats and get her that something special from Zales or wherever that you know she will truly appreciate and can wear for years to come. And if jewelry isn’t your forte than leave it use your brain to actually think about whatever will make your woman all teary eyed.

3. Candy and flowers. – Candy and flowers a  wonderful gift and always always are appreciated….if your sick in the hospital. Or if your in a new relationship, or better yet if you have been together for many years and your hubby brings them home just to make you smile. However there are many occasions where these just will not do. Say, for Christmas. Yes I have seen this. Candy and flowers are a great addition to a special occasion but they can get old if you give them no matter the occasion.

4. No re-gifting! – You can not under any circumstances give your current girlfriend or lover something you already  own, was already a gift for someone else or something another woman left at your apt. that weekend you had a few too many beers. I have actually experienced this one too. I once saw, a long time ago, the new girlfriend of an ex-boyfriend of mine wearing a custom piece of jewelry that I had left at his apt during our break-up. I didn’t want to go back and get it so I just chalked it up to a break up and counted my losses. How tacky is that though. Just get her something new.

5. Clothing made from odd material. Lingerie and clothing are some of the hardest gifts to shop for your lady. It’s a steamy pot of hot water to get into if you don’t know her well enough to know what to get or if you’re a terrible gift giver. For example: Do not under any circumstances give clothing made from velvet, velour, polyester blends of varying kinds, anything super flammable like those cheap-y pj’s you get at those stores in the mall that are always “Going out of business!” and must “Sell everything!”.  Don’t get her a cashmere sweater in the middle of summer or an under garments made from that strange lace that itches every time you breathe. Just think, if you wouldn’t put it on your skin why the hell would we?

Alright-y folks, that’s it Do everything you need to do gentlemen to help you in your quest to remind your lady she is always on your mind and no matter what it is, big or small she will love it I am sure.

 

 

By the way my views on this topic are not a reflection of greed or snobbery but I feel strongly that if there is indeed gift giving or you actually care about someone then your gifts should reflect this. No matter what kind of gift, it should have thought put into it and given in true love.

Ok that’s it…go forth and be merry!

❤ Cassandra

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A bunch of cool crap to do with Lavender Essential Oil!

lavender aromatherapy

As apparently the most widely used essential oil in the world and my favorite scent in the whole universe since my early 20’s, I figured I’d share some of the fabulously beneficial properties of lavender essential oil and some of the great ways to transform yourself inside and out in your in the mood. Almost every single product I use is has this oil and aroma in it. Plus, there are some crazy awesome medicinal and over all physical benefits and fun tidbits that I knew nothing about until recently. Here we go!

lavender 2Walk Like an Egyptian!

This wonderful oil was used over 2,500 years ago for religious purposes by one of my favorite peoples, the ancient Egyptians, during the mummification process (seriously) and as a perfume. So Cleopatra and all her chicks were probably not only rocking fierce eye liner but they smelled really nice too.

Useful in all kinds of situations!

Lavender essential oil reduces stress and anxiety greatly. People are always reaching for a smoke (me) when their under duress or going through extreme agitation. Grab your lavender oil instead folks!

You can put a few droplets into a spray bottle filled with water and spray on sheets, pillows and towels or in your bath water before bed to relax. ( this actually works)

-Get into a mean altercation with your neighbor and come out wounded with a burnt arm? Well fear not because lavender essential oil helps heal burns and wounds. So don’t use butter  or ice or whatever your grandmother told you to use that time you burnt your neck with the curling iron.

It also soothes eczema and psoriasis. Which is always good I suppose if you have eczema or psoriasis, which I hear are fairly unpleasant diseases.

It alleviates headaches, which is probably most applicable to New Yorkers or any other persons living in or around an over crowded metropolis with lots of noise and strange beggars on many a corner.

 

lavender field

Medicinal Miracles!

Lavender essential oil slows aging significantly ( gasp) due to powerful anti-oxidants.

So powerful are the effects of this oil, it actually helps your body produce 3 of it’s most powerful anti-oxidants (within 22 hours of use). Why is that important? Well…the very obvious reason, to fight all those fanatical free-radicals ( they cause cancer and stuff) we as intelligent humans ingest from toxins and chemicals in our processed foods and pollutants we have put into the air. Which are abundant and running rampant.

Lavender essential oil balances blood sugar (who knew). And with so many people in the country on the verge of diabetes and/or coronary blockage, you should share this fun fact with a friend. Your welcome.

There is actually a very long list of the internal benefits, in regards to people suffering specifically with diabetes, and how it works. The list of information on this particular topic, clinical trials and scientific application for diabetes sufferers is indeed so long I would suggest googling it or ask your primary care physician…when’s the last time you saw him. (wink wink)

Other uses!

-You can repel insects. And if they are smart and do bite you, you can apply it to bug bites.

-You can freshen laundry or the stale air in your home.

-Apply to chap lips. ( I actually put it in a bottle of really good olive oil and use it as a body moisturizer and

-It stops bleeding. (not if you have been in a bad accident or anything where you are gushing a lot blood or anything, you call emergency services in that event. Do not yell to someone to grab your lavender essential oil in the event of heavy bleeding. 🙂 )

-It’s anti-microbial and super soothing and has rapid healing properties when mixed with coconut oil or aloe. 10 drops per ounce of aloe or coconut oil will heal your horrid sun burn you just got at the beach when you pretended you were sick to your boss on the phone this morning. You’re welcome.

-Helps with motion sickness and nausea.

lavender tips

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I found this on pinterest, so it’s pretty awesome. I am addicted to perfecting my lash game at all times..so I will be trying this tip ( to the left) and I’ll let you know how it goes..

 

Hope this was informative in some way…. tune in next time.

Cassandra

 

 

 

 

 

What are IBU’s in beer.

I always seem to come across new and unknown terminology in the beer world. Its exciting when you can use that lingo when trying to comb through your drink choices at your local pub or during that brewery visit you had been putting off for so long. I also find it extremely helpful when choosing beer at the supermarket. For example, knowing what IBU’s are and what that means in relation to what type of beer you might be looking for is great and very helpful. Sometimes there is a nice little description on the six-pack or bottle of beer but it isn’t always that useful in helping you to decide based on flavor or even knowing what it actually might taste like.

IBU refers to International Bitterness Unit scale which is standard for measuring the amount of hops  in your beer. (Or the concentration of bitter hop acids in any given beer) That’s right folks, and its super helpful for hop heads, white beer and pale ale drinkers alike. IBU measurement is helpful for not only those of us who seek out that super bitter, hoppy flavor but also for those of you who hate hoppy beer. Just simply check out the IBU’s on your beer bottle and you’ll know if your going to regret buying a 24 pack of said beer or not. Often a very hoppy beer will have an IBU of perhaps 75 or 80 which is high, for obvious reasons and a more malty beer or even a light beer might have an IBU of somewhere around 30.

                                                                Let’s get down to the science of it!

More specifically IBU’s in a beer refer to the amount of Isohumolone, the acid that occurs in hops that actually gives your beer its bite.

Isohumolones, the chemical compounds that contribute to the bitterness level are themselves in another class of compounds known as isoalpha acids.

                                                          How it works chemically….If your interested. :-)

For all you darlings out there who absolutely loved second period of high school because you had chemistry class, then you might appreciate this seemingly useless information. Although, knowledge is power so who knows when you will need to know how the hops are broken down chemically in beer, right?

One IBU corresponds to one part-per-million of isohumolone. When beer is exposed to the light, the compounds decompose in a reaction catalyzed by riboflavin to then make a free radical species by the hemolytic cleavage of the exocyclic carbon-carbon bond. Whewww, what a mouthful!. The cleaved acyl-side chain radical then decomposes some more and then expels or releases carbon monoxide and creating 1,1 dimenthylallyl radical. This radical will finally react with sulfur containing amino acids, like cysteine to create 3-methyl but-2-ene-1-thiol. A thiol which causes your beer to taste “skunky” or “hoppy” or “bitter” or whatever you’d like to call it. Voila! That’s it!

What it looks like…..

isohumulone (hop acids in beer)

So that’s it, I hope this was more informative and interesting than boring, also there is a little list of other relevent beer and brewing terms. 🙂 ❤ Cassandra

 

 

 

 

Other Beer and brewing terminology

Aerobic– An organism, such as top-fermenting ale yeast, that needs oxygen to metabolize.

ABV– Alcohol By Volume- Amount of alcohol in beer in terms of percentage volume of alcohol per volume of beer.

Ale– Beers distinguished by use of top-fermenting yeast strains, often fruitiness is part of the character of ales.

Anaerobic– An organism such as bottom-fermented lager yeast, that is able to metabolize without oxygen present.

Barrel– A unit of measurement used by brewers in some countries. In Britain a Barrel holds 36 imperial gallons ( 1 imperial gallon= 4.5 US liters) ( or 1.63 hectoliters). A US  barrel holds 31.5 US gallons ( 1 US gallon = 3.8 liters) or 1.7 hectoliters.

Black malt– Partially malted barley, roasted at high temperatures. Black malt gives a dark color and roasted flavor to beer.

A decade of life lessons from 90’s action stars

top-action-movie-stars

For all you 80’s babies out there you understand, probably, how important 90’s action stars and the movies they were in actually were to us. They helped to raise us in a way and guided us through a decade of giant gold hoop earrings, puffy starter jackets and way too many eyebrow piercings. 90’s action stars made us believe we could face that bully on the playground despite the fact that a round house kick is incredibly difficult to pull off when your 12. I mean, there is  a whole generation of kids that learned problem skills solely from Macgyver. The 90’s was a great time to be a kid I think and we should reflect on and celebrate how those bold and brave fictional characters have changed our lives for the better. Here we go! The following action stars are placed in no particular order whatsoever.

Mel Gibson- Mel will get his revenge if you try to take his freedom, he is a brave-heart, that one. He’s a romantic, a priest, a soldier or celtic farmer gone rogue and John Smith in Pocohontas. Teaching us about the wonders of bi-racial love and the need to always keep your eye out for aliens invading through your Oklahoma corn field. . Thanks Mel!

Tom Cruise- Furiously running throughout every movie as though being chased and like 80 % of the time there is no one actually chasing him. I don’t know about you but I took up track in high school coming in 3rd place in every single race so thanks Tom! No mission is impossible.

Nicholas Cage- Loud for no reason other than he can be and has the most impeccable man weave in the industry. Nick taught me about anger management and how it can help us throughout life and also that there is nothing wrong with rocking a good floor length duster or finger-less sorcerer gloves. Refer to the Nick Cage freak-out montage below . 🙂 Your welcome.

 

 

steven seagalSteven Seagal- Taught me how to fight without moving my actual body and how to run with straight arms in the event I might need to.Which may sounds weird but I can assure you, the Kung Fu I think I can do because of Steven Seagal is almost impeccable. He is hard to kill and few people know this but Steven Seagal help boost the hair gel industry to new heights all by himself in the 90’s. I had to reject the boys on the playground who weren’t trying to put their hair into an overly tight gelled pony tail.

Wesley Snipes- Taught us that white men can’t jump but they can bite you with fangs in a dark alley so you gotta watch your back. Along side pocohantas he taught me that theres nothing wrong with a little jungle fever, although I don’t think there is a cure. 🙂 I even learned that you better not act up on airplanes because you never know who passenger 57 is, he may just be Wesley Snipes ready to court marshall your ass. I’d also like to give a firm thank you to Mr. Snipes for giving us 3 Blade movies. I can’ even begin to explain how it helps me when I have to stay in for a week when I have the flu or something.

Chuck Norris-  Walker Texas Ranger, enough said. I think of him in the gym at least once a week. Talk about motivation! And for your reading pleasure I’ve placed some Chuck Norris facts below. Enjoy.

chuck-norris-jokes-birthday

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger- Arnold showed me that there is indeed a job position known as Kindergarten cop. I also learned that expressing every emotion one might have in a monotone voice at all times is possible. Sometimes for no reason at all, I yell at times I deem appropriate, my favorite Arnold one-liners. Give it a try the next time your in a rush to get somewhere, then yell “Get in the chopper!!!!” or “It’s not a tumor!” the next time your getting your yearly dental cleaning. It really makes for a higher quality of life. Thanks Arnold.

Pierce Brosnan- The classiest of the action stars by far, fighting among the elite against villians of all magnitudes, he’s never afraid to chase down a bad guy through flames and gun fire all the while never wrinkling his perfect 3 piece suit or ruining the latest luxury car out. I learned how to take care of my things from Pierce and also that there is always time for tea no matter how many impending world destruction scenarios there might be at play. Thanks Pierce!

harrison ford

Harrison Ford- Seemingly middle-aged throughout his whole on screen career, good ol’ Indie taught us to never give up. Through the amazonian jungles and into the under worlds of sci-fi thrillers he showed me that with either whip or jedi powers I can conquer anything. I also became an avid fan of the jungle hat that I think we call Fedora’s now. It has upped my fashion sense exponentially.

jcvdJean Claude Van Damme- So much to say about Jean Claude, I was definitely the only little girl in my ballet classes doing splits because JCVD was doing them in every single movie he has ever made. Always managing to use the same name or a variation of the same name in every movie, JCVD taught me the importance of recycling, stretching before a Kumite match and that there us absolutely nothing wrong with a very low v-neck spandex tank top.  Dulph Lundgren-  An honorable mention to the almighty Dulph Lundgren who always plays a bad guy in a movie who seems to have no fewer than 5 – 10 lines. He is awesome in his own right and definitely probably taught us something about something.

Thank you 90’s action film stars for showing us the way to truly live our lives like a fictional karate, gun slinging hero. Also, one of the bigger life lessons I have learned from several of my favorite 90’s action stars on this list was to pay my taxes or the government will get ya! Apparently if you owe them 20 million dollars they will put you in jail, or force you to make 4 B-rated movies a year until you can pay it off.  So… you know, pay your taxes folks.

 

 

My top 90’s action movies

Jungle Fever

True Lies

Terminator

Kindegarten Cop

Lethal Weapon

Every JCVD movie ever made

Hard to kill

Passenger 57

Out for justice

Top gun

Braveheart

Forever young

Die hard

Marked for death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 signs you should get a divorce.

divorce cartoon

As someone who is has neither been married nor divorced, perhaps my perspective on the topics are bit skewed, but I don’t think so. As someone who is however, engaged to be married and have had a fair amount of married friends/relatives over the years, I feel my view is actually un-biased and therefore true. Judge for yourself though. Having said that, its pretty heart breaking to me when it seems like the whole world can see when a couple is headed for a collision course except the couple themselves. Or perhaps your beliefs lead you to believe you have no other choice but to suffer through a love-less, poisonous, ratched-ass marriage simply because you made vows to the wrong person. Or worst, perhaps you keep telling yourself ” Well we have to work it out for the kids”.  As if two adults being unhappy regularly somehow sends good messages to kids about commitment and love. Well I am here to tell you this is not the case and happiness only happens if you make it happen but sadness and despair are what happens when you let them.

  1. If you say you hate your spouse on a regular basis or to random strangers and you actually mean it, guess what? Think about that divorce you have been putting off. And on the plus side if you don’t have many financial assets to fight over then you can get a divorce for like 500$. It’s probably time.

  2. If your husband sleeps with a woman who is not you one month before your wedding and you then proceed to still get married you are going to be googling this article in the near future, to which I say it’s probably time to serve him with those papers. Or better yet maybe too much time hasn’t passed for you to get an annulment.

  3. If the idea of sex, hugging, cuddling or touching your spouse repulses you, you need to get a divorce and find someone who you do actually want to touch every day for the rest of your life. Just saying…I know and have known way too many married people who think it’s perfectly normal to be legal roommates and then wonder why folks sleeping around on them. Marry someone you wanna touch forever or stick to dating until you do.

  4. If you have done couples therapy and your therapist  hates both of you, tries to cancel your regularly scheduled sessions and mysteriously is on “vacation” several times a year, they think you should get a divorce and have little hope for your future together and don’t want to tell you. Get the hint.

  5. If you cry more than you smile it might be time to wrap it up folks. Despite popular belief Love doesn’t hurt. Loss does. Too many of you out there have it twisted.

  6. If your spouse abuses you verbally,  you may think ” Well I’m not being beat” to which I would say you need to get a grip on reality and hold on real tight. Any form of abuse is unacceptable, including verbal and emotional. Get a divorce because you deserve absolute love, everyday. After all, the vows you took didn’t say ” I promise to love through good times and then stop when I feel like it”. Did they?

Sidenote: The next thing that happens statistically in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship after enough time is usually physical violence.

  1. If you married for money and then found out that there really isn’t that much money to be had, do yourself a favor and get a divorce and maybe give sugar daddies a try or something. Marriage is supposed to be about partnership and love and all that stuff….remember?

  2. If you got married when you were 19 because you thought the next “natural” step of your high school, adolescent love was marriage and the best the thing to do, and your now wondering a decade later “We have grown into such different people, what happened?” then the answer is in the first part of this sentence.

Sidenote ^ It should be said that I absolutely believe true and real love can happen and be experience at any age at all, even marrying young can definitely work out. However I have a serious problem with people who don’t realize that marriage isn’t the next “natural step” in part of life. It is to be cherished and not taken lightly. Let’s not conform to societies or your silly under developed teenage minds ideas of what we must do. All you must do is be happy.

  1. If you stay married because you have children.. then your stupid. So sorry but the ability to procreate after you have legally tied the knot doesn’t mean your marriage is working or right. Kids aren’t stupid and they can sense and feel unhappiness, misery and bullshit in adults better than we can. So you’re not doing anyone a favor. Least of all them.

  2. I don’t have anything for ten… but I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the vows that we take when we choose, of our volition, to spend our whole life with one person. However don’t make vows you can’t keep. What I mean by this is that, the divorce rate in this country is still 50 % and climbing. There is a reason for this. People seem to think marriage is some kind of next step of an okay relationship when if fact that is not it at all. Sometimes I wonder if when people decide to get married if they realize that the intention of it is literally to be forever. So keeping that in mind you would think people would be more careful who they chose to take these vows with. Either way, it’s not a bad thing if it turns out horrible and you choose to leave.  There is no judgement in two adults choosing to do the right thing if divorce is indeed right for you.

Start a new and live happy.

Cassandra

 

When your friends are not really your friends. The “Get It Together” Edition

hooter4_zps644e2274

Now the following fundamental rules should be acquired and learned at an early stage in life, however most people don’t seem to pick them up until well into their adulthood for some reason. Or they at least don’t get a full grasp of the rules until much later on in life. I sorted through them and figured most of them out in my early 20’s. Also, if you are older than 16 years old and you still need to roll 20 deep you need to do some soul-searching. As you get older you find that your truly great friends are few in number because that is all that you really need. Here we go!

-Your friend isn’t your friend if you spend 90 % of your time together “upping” them. When no matter what is going on with you, it is still somehow about them, they are probably not your friend. If I have to tell you every single day, 20 times a day you look nice in that outfit, you are either insecure or really indecisive about clothing choices. Either way, its your body, wear what you want and whatever makes you feel good.

  • Your friends also don’t talk shit about you that they would never say to your actual face. Friends will preface any negative comments with ” sorry to have to say this but…” and then proceed to shit talk right to you. In a nice way of course. Being mean isn’t nice.

  • When your friend tells you that you look good even though you don’t actually look good at all, re-think your friendship. There are plenty of polite ways to alert your friend that perhaps one less layer of foundation might not be a bad idea before you go out. Or if your friend is incapable of simply saying that your ass looks fat in that dress because it actually does, then get a new friend. Friends don’t let friends wear ass enlarging outfits.

  • Don’t be afraid to alert your friends to the fact that their boyfriend/girlfriend is a dick. Everyone of course has the right to be with anyone they choose. As good friends we should support them and lift them up in positive ways in regards to relationships.  However, if you ask me what I think about a guy you’re seeing but don’t actually want the truth,we are not friends. I don’t have time to expend energy helping you over think every aspect of every text, snap chat and tweet between you two if you don’t actually give a fuck what I have to say about it. Let those friends make their relationship mistakes on their own and keep it pushing, life’s too short.

  • If your friends party at your house, crash on the couch and then proceed to slip out the next morning without helping to clean up, don’t invite them over again. Not your friends.

  • If your friends come over for a dinner party and don’t bring a dessert or some alcoholic beverage, well they were just raised with no etiquette. You don’t have to ditch them for this though.

  • If your friends don’t wash their hands out in a public establishment, say in a bar or restaurant then first of all ewwww and second they are your dirty non-friends. If this seems like an odd thing to nit pick at, I can assure I have had friends who consistently wouldn’t wash their hands in the bathroom. All I’m saying is if you’re not scared of contracting the plague from a dive bar bathroom than how much else is life can you really care about let alone me.

  • Now this next one seems like a given, however some people are dense so I’m going to say it anyways. If your friend flirts, sleeps with or attempts to sleep with your spouse they are not your friend and they probably never were. Delete them from all of your mobile sites and block their phone numbers.  I am so sick of hearing about some of you folks complaining how your man “had sex with Jamie or Kate” or whoever he is sleeping with. Like how stupid are you to first think that your ” friend”  is still your ” friend” when they slept with your man. Bye bitch. They are trash. Friends don’t sleep with other friends spouses.

-When going through a real heartbreak your friends should bring you hugs, kleenex, food an booze. If they do not they are not your friends. A lost love is hard and is supposed to hurt, so….. before your back at that bar trying to fill that void with meaningless sex to get over whoever broke your heart in the first place and potentially getting an STD, find friends who will do the vegging out thing on your couch with you until you’ve cried yourself into dehydration.

  • Drama. Uggghhh this one is hard, especially as a woman because we have a tendency to find drama where there is none. However if you have a friend who can find drama in any and every situation at all times then you probably could do without them. I mean like if your on your way to the movies or your local Starbucks and they have a “problem” with every person in line or can’t seem to forget about your other friends’ problems then they are probably poisonous.

So the lesson here is stop calling everyone your friend, letting them into your life and giving all your energy and love if they don’t reciprocate. Easy Breezy!

Cassandra

 

 

We are our mothers. A poem.

This is a poem I wrote for the month of January…A little something to get my year started right, and an attempt at addressing those feelings of contempt at being compared to your mother. Well it took me a super long time, most of my 20’s, in fact to understand and embrace that no matter who or what your mother was I believe as women we take away the best of them. I think that’s just how it goes. I know that I am the very best parts of my mother. And stepping into and wrapping up the first year of my 30’s I am glad that is what I got from that long decade we call our 20’s.  🙂 . Hope you enjoy. – Cassandra

 


 

Peace is not easy to come by,

my uneasy, unsettled soul

you’ve made it whole.

 

Your just like your mother!

To that, I once would have cringed.

but now, I take pride in becoming un-hinged.

Your right, of course, I have so many of her parts,

the good, the bad….. and most of all her heart.

 

On her worst day…. she was more, than half the living world is now

and on my best day, I still couldn’t figure out how.

 

It felt like people would stand in line to just see her breath,

and witness the love magic that she could weave.

 

I wait for her, her silent smile and quiet nod, I tell myself,

because I see her everyday…in every raindrop and in every way.

 

It rained on the day of my birth,

it has every year since my first,

guided by a love far away,

or at least, that is what they say.

 

Like a diamond in the rough, have you seen one?

It’s forged by pressure and conditions so extreme…..

no other shines like it,

if you would bother to polish it, I mean!

 

Like a lion in the wild, that will not and can not be tamed,

believe me….she was appropriately named!

I am fearless, like she insisted I be,

and never afraid to be scared as only she could foresee.

 

I am just like her, I have all of her crazy,

but without it, to love me would be all too hazey,

and only at my worst can you truly love me,  for all that I am, for all that I’ll be.

 

She was amazing to see, she was quite a sight to behold,

I’m everything she said I’d be and everything she foretold….

I’m just like my mother, fearless…..and bold.

 

I survive where others can not.

My flaws make me better than the lot.

 

I’ll never stop, I’ll never quit, how does that sound?

Truly doesn’t matter since I don’t need you to come around.

my mom

 ❤ Cassandra