As someone who is has neither been married nor divorced, perhaps my perspective on the topics are bit skewed, but I don’t think so. As someone who is however, engaged to be married and have had a fair amount of married friends/relatives over the years, I feel my view is actually un-biased and therefore true. Judge for yourself though. Having said that, its pretty heart breaking to me when it seems like the whole world can see when a couple is headed for a collision course except the couple themselves. Or perhaps your beliefs lead you to believe you have no other choice but to suffer through a love-less, poisonous, ratched-ass marriage simply because you made vows to the wrong person. Or worst, perhaps you keep telling yourself ” Well we have to work it out for the kids”. As if two adults being unhappy regularly somehow sends good messages to kids about commitment and love. Well I am here to tell you this is not the case and happiness only happens if you make it happen but sadness and despair are what happens when you let them.
- If you say you hate your spouse on a regular basis or to random strangers and you actually mean it, guess what? Think about that divorce you have been putting off. And on the plus side if you don’t have many financial assets to fight over then you can get a divorce for like 500$. It’s probably time.
If your husband sleeps with a woman who is not you one month before your wedding and you then proceed to still get married you are going to be googling this article in the near future, to which I say it’s probably time to serve him with those papers. Or better yet maybe too much time hasn’t passed for you to get an annulment.
If the idea of sex, hugging, cuddling or touching your spouse repulses you, you need to get a divorce and find someone who you do actually want to touch every day for the rest of your life. Just saying…I know and have known way too many married people who think it’s perfectly normal to be legal roommates and then wonder why folks sleeping around on them. Marry someone you wanna touch forever or stick to dating until you do.
If you have done couples therapy and your therapist hates both of you, tries to cancel your regularly scheduled sessions and mysteriously is on “vacation” several times a year, they think you should get a divorce and have little hope for your future together and don’t want to tell you. Get the hint.
If you cry more than you smile it might be time to wrap it up folks. Despite popular belief Love doesn’t hurt. Loss does. Too many of you out there have it twisted.
If your spouse abuses you verbally, you may think ” Well I’m not being beat” to which I would say you need to get a grip on reality and hold on real tight. Any form of abuse is unacceptable, including verbal and emotional. Get a divorce because you deserve absolute love, everyday. After all, the vows you took didn’t say ” I promise to love through good times and then stop when I feel like it”. Did they?
Sidenote: The next thing that happens statistically in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship after enough time is usually physical violence.
- If you married for money and then found out that there really isn’t that much money to be had, do yourself a favor and get a divorce and maybe give sugar daddies a try or something. Marriage is supposed to be about partnership and love and all that stuff….remember?
If you got married when you were 19 because you thought the next “natural” step of your high school, adolescent love was marriage and the best the thing to do, and your now wondering a decade later “We have grown into such different people, what happened?” then the answer is in the first part of this sentence.
Sidenote ^ It should be said that I absolutely believe true and real love can happen and be experience at any age at all, even marrying young can definitely work out. However I have a serious problem with people who don’t realize that marriage isn’t the next “natural step” in part of life. It is to be cherished and not taken lightly. Let’s not conform to societies or your silly under developed teenage minds ideas of what we must do. All you must do is be happy.
- If you stay married because you have children.. then your stupid. So sorry but the ability to procreate after you have legally tied the knot doesn’t mean your marriage is working or right. Kids aren’t stupid and they can sense and feel unhappiness, misery and bullshit in adults better than we can. So you’re not doing anyone a favor. Least of all them.
I don’t have anything for ten… but I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the vows that we take when we choose, of our volition, to spend our whole life with one person. However don’t make vows you can’t keep. What I mean by this is that, the divorce rate in this country is still 50 % and climbing. There is a reason for this. People seem to think marriage is some kind of next step of an okay relationship when if fact that is not it at all. Sometimes I wonder if when people decide to get married if they realize that the intention of it is literally to be forever. So keeping that in mind you would think people would be more careful who they chose to take these vows with. Either way, it’s not a bad thing if it turns out horrible and you choose to leave. There is no judgement in two adults choosing to do the right thing if divorce is indeed right for you.
Start a new and live happy.