Ridiculous food items you didn’t know existed.

On my quest to make this list I was distracted by the many other lists on the internet that had nothing to do whatsoever with ridiculous food items you didn’t know existed. I almost peed my pants trying to write this. Seriously. I am going to happily write an article involving lists about the “worst named food items”, “weird food gadgets” and “worst fried foods”. But this article isn’t about those but I suggest you read this one and then wait patiently for the others to actually blow your socks off and possibly make you pee your pants too.

There are way too many foods that just simply should not exist at all. And yet…. they do. Even worst, I believe there are people out there ( you know who you are) who are participating in the eating of said products. No judgement. That is a lie, I am totally judging any and everyone who would willingly partake in consuming one or any of the products on this list. Mostly because everything mentioned would make me puke immediately if not sooner.

 

1. download (1)Jimmy Dean makes Chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick. It resembles a corn dog gone all the way wrong. Corn dogs by themselves are unnecessarily gross and I’ve never come across one single corn dog that didn’t give someone I knew diarrhea. And I would never bother trying one for the obvious reasons mentioned above.

 

2. Burger King makes a Ketchup and fries potato chip snack. The bag says it has zero grams of trans fats, as though you’d care if you’re eating a bag filled with a total abomination of a food product.

3. Pizza on a stick. Not even sure who makes these or why. It barely matters though, as I am convinced these were invented for lazy pieces of shit who don’t like washing their hands.

4. Dunkin’ Donuts makes a Bacon, egg and cheese on a donut. I am not even surprised, just decided to maybe never get breakfast items from there ever again. We shall see, they do make a mean sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant. Sometimes the employees even say the word “croissant” like they know it’s French.

5. Carl’s Jr’s makes a Strawberry pop tart ice cream sandwich.  Have no fear, they are just doing their part to contribute to nationwide childhood obesity.images

 

 

download (2)

6. KFC decided once to create and then put out Mac-N-Cheese bites. Ummmm I’m sorry but mac-n-cheese that isn’t served in a plate or bowl where
utensils are definitely required lest you be shunned from society, is simply an artificially produced “cheese” product that probably causes cancer. So you have been warned.

7. True to form, Burger King, Going strong, came up with a Bacon Sundae. Which is for sure gross to me but I can see the masses enjoying this one for some reason. Perhaps because bacon, in moderation, isn’t quite so offensive, unlike weird corn dog like pancake sausage things on a stick.

8. Allegedly Wendy’s once did a Lobster and caviar burger. So we are clear, this could very easily be a straight up  internet lie. What city, I wonder, was their target audience. NYC or LA I would assume but who actually knows. I’ll let the caviar that I decide to consume  come from the very schwanky, over uppity upper east side parties I attend for the free champagne. Because at least there I won’t wonder if what I’m consuming is actually caviar or a weird fish roe that is bought cheap at the south street seaport market at all kinds of shady hours.

lobster burger, wendys.co.jp

9. McDonald’s in Canada makes a Mclobster. Now, what this means exactly I don’t know. I now a Mcdouble at McDonald’s in the U.S. involves beef on a bun and other items that are never there in real life, just in the commercial. I’m not even sure, besides lobster, what else is included in this very strange-sounding concoction. Perhaps their just more classy in Canada and we shouldn’t be asking questions.

10. Oh Dunkin’ Donuts, how do you do it. Don’t answer. Here they are again on this list. Not surprised? Neither was I when I realized how many absurd food items existed at the hands of Dunkin’ Donuts. Anyhow, in China they make a Donut stuffed with pork and seaweed. It is apparently very popular. It kind of makes me feel like it’s really an egg-roll of some kind, stuffed with pork and seaweed. It sounds like it’s in disguise as a donut but I couldn’t truly say, as I have never been to China to taste it. Just call it an egg roll and admit you are now serving dinner items now. :-/

11.download If you are wondering why I didn’t stop at 10 items, it’s because I mislabeled the numbers on the paper I was writing this list on. It may have something to do with the fact that I was drinking Miller light and chinese food at the same time while writing this but I can’t say. Anyhow, Kit kat decided to make a Wasabi flavored Kit Kat bar. They are a real thing and that’s as far as I actually even care to delve into this one.

 

Hope you enjoyed and/or are now more informed on the very strange food items that exist in the world that probably shouldn’t. 🙂

❤ Cassandra

 

 

 

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