High fructose corn syrup: How much do we actually know?

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History

HFCS,(High Fructose Corn Syrup)  first introduced by Richard O. Marshall and Earl R. Kooi in 1957, they were not actually successful because apparently part of the process required arsenate, which is extremely toxic for humans to consume. A Dr. Kei Yamanaka in Japan, 1961, went to be a bit more successful having discovered a catalyst required for the production that didn’t involve the very toxic arsenate. And then later between the years of 1965 and 1970 the industrial production process was highly refined by  Dr. Yoshiyuki Takasaki.

Facts

HFCS is 24% water and the rest is sugar.

Varieties of HFCS:

HFCS-55 ( mostly used for soft drinks)- 55% fructose, 42% glucose

HFCS-42 (used in beverages, cereals, processed foods, baked goods)- 42% fructose, 53% glucose

HFCS-90 (used for specialty food items, but mainly blended with HFCS-42 to make HFCS-55)

As of 2012, the average American consumed 27 lbs of HFCS per year. That number has since changed and risen to 55 Lbs. (?)

 

It consisted of any group of corn syrups that have undergone an enzymatic process to convert some of its glucose and fructose to produce a certain type of sweetness.

It is the predominantly used sweetener in processed foods and beverages in the USA. Surprise, surprise.

In the USA we have government subsidies on corn, paid to the growers, keeping the price of corn low. We also have government production quotas of domestic sugar and import tariffs on foreign sugar-making HFCS one of the sweeteners that has predominantly replaced table sugar. In the food industry this makes it so that the price for sucrose is higher here in the USA than anywhere else in the world. The U.S. price of sugar is twice the global price, making HFCS the cheapest way to sweeten things. Oh joy!

These tariffs were mandated in 1977.

Health

The Corn Refiners Association disputes claims about the health effects of HFCS on us all. These claims would include contribution to obesity, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, non-alcoholic fatty acid liver disease. There are many research teams with tons of research data supporting both sides honestly. However what I found odd is that in every other country outside of the United States, from a medical stand point these claims of medical findings that large consumption of HFCS do in fact lead to many of these issues as oppose to the use of regular table sugar is proven to be true.

Some things to keep in mind about HFCS:

The FDA ( Food and Drug Administration) label HFCS as ” generally recognized as safe” (GRAS). since 1975. Wow that is inspiring.

HFCS contributes, particularly to weight gain because it affects appetite function on a high level. Doesn’t this seem to make sense when you think of people who struggle with weight gain and also happen to eat lots of processed foods?

We use food grade Hydrochlric Acid in the processing of corn syrup. This has been linked to being a source of inorganic mercury.(depending on how it is manufactured)

I read an article(2012) in the Huffington Post, Healthy Living section, speaking on the link between HFCS consumption and type 2 diabetes,  where a researcher Stanley Ulijaszek, the director of the Institute of Social and Cultural Anthropology at Oxford University says “”Most populations have an almost insatiable appetite for sweet foods, but regrettably our metabolism has not evolved sufficiently to be able to process the fructose from high fructose corn syrup in the quantities that some people are consuming it,” Many scientists, researchers, medical practitioners and more believe this to be true worldwide.

One of the things that bothers me about the countless websites, articles and more dedicated to promoting propaganda and false facts about  HFCS is that they aren’t necessarily lying to us. For example I found a website fully dedicated to “informing” the American people about the misconceptions of HFCS in our diet. They pose a question like ” Is HFCS unnatural?” then go on to give you the answer which is “No, HFCS is made from corn. A natural grain. There are no synthetic ingredients or color additives and it is produced very similarly to other sugars”. This is hysterical to me because technically they are not lying, however they are perpetuating partial information and expecting us to be satisfied. Most Americans are. The results from producing HFCS is anything but natural. It is also linked to all types of long-term health problems that can not be argued but often are.

honey bee

We even give HFCs to our honey bees in this country, since the 1970’s. Which by the way has since been discovered is hazardous and “colony depleting” to their health and future. The reasons we feed them HFCS is to replace the nourishment they get from the honey that we take away to sell. It’s not really a surprise that it is bad for them, seeing that it is pretty bad for us. They however do not suffer from the same ailments, the HFCS causes their defenses to be low, specifically the bees that are treated with pesticides, which is most of them.

Some of the scientific community agrees with the implications of the prolonged use, in extremely high concentrations of High fructose corn syrup in our diets and others choose not to. However I think no matter how you feel, we can probably all agree that too much of anything isn’t always good and the best way to look at our diets and health is with an eye to moderation and knowing precisely what it is we choose to put into our bodies.

Happy snacking

❤ Cassandra

 

 

The many faces of Jameson!

 

S1130-2Welcome aboard the Whiskey Train! This month I was thinking I’d re-discover my favorite whiskey, Jameson. Like so many people I was quiet unawares of the many variants produced by the Jameson distillery. In a comfortable relationship with my regular old Jameson Original, it wasn’t until this very year that I even perused the idea of trying another type. It never dawned on me once to browse the whiskey isle for something different. Then one day my boyfriend, the wonderful Red, brought back a bottle of whiskey from the liquor store. It looked like Jameson, It smelled like Jameson…. but the bottle was a bit different. It was indeed a bottle of Jameson, triple distilled, black barrel special reserve, to be more specific. You can imagine my shock and dismay.

It drinks quite smooth and is easily taken neat or on the rocks without needing a mixer of any kind. Ever have one of those weeks where you worked about as hard as an Egyptian slave working on those damned pyramids? Well then, this is one of those adult cocktails that you pour for yourself only after you’ve run a really hot bath after such a week. The regular Jameson ages anywhere from 5 to 7 years but this black barrel stuff is aged in the barrel for at least 12 years. It’s fairly rich and deep in it has notes of vanilla for me, but the professionals have noted stewed apple and toasted woods among the vanilla flavor.

Well, since 1780 John Jameson, who was actually Scottish, acquired the Bow Street Distillery and so began the wonderful journey of producing what would become one of the worlds most popular and recognizable whiskey brands. Today Jameson is the worlds third largest single-distillery. Which is nothing to sneeze at I’d say.

There are a few different Jameson Reserves but the one in which I speak of is actually produced in small batches and is manufactured and shipped in pretty limited quantities in the US. At about 70$ a bottle (at least in the liquor stores in Edison, NJ) it is almost certainly worth it.

  • Jameson 12 Year Old Special Reserve (Formerly known as Jameson 1780)
  • Jameson 12 Year Old Distillery Reserve is available at their two visitor centres in Ireland and also available from their online shop.
  • Jameson Gold Reserve (the only expression of Jameson that uses virgin American oak).
  • Jameson 18 Year Old Limited Reserve
  • Jameson Rarest Vintage Reserve (Jameson’s oldest and rarest whiskey components).
  • Jameson Signature Reserve (exclusive to Travel Retail & Duty Free outlets around the world).
  • Jameson Select Reserve Black Barrel (available in limited quantities in the US; known as “Small Batch” outside the US)

 

How is it made you say? Good question. They use something called malted and unmalted Irish barley, all of which is said to come from within close range of the distillery in Cork, Ireland. They dry the barley and fire it in a kiln. So this is very distinctly different from how Scottish Whiskey is made because they fire their barley with peat in the kiln, which gives Irish and Scottish whiskey a pretty different flavor. Sounds like the beginning of a taste test comparison, in the near future hehehe.

The company also participates in a short film contest called “Jameson First Shot”, which was established to search and find creative people new to the film industry. If you win your film is produced by a company that works in conjunction with Jameson called Trigger Street productions founded by none other than the wonderfully talented Kevin Spacey himself. As a winner you are also privy to the talents of an a-list celebrity to star in your movie. Open to people of South Africa, Russia and the USA .Who knew!!!!

 How about this for something incredibly randomly awesome! There are Jameson Bartenders Balls, yes that is what I said. Jameson Bartender Balls, all over the country apparently. What these are and what they consist of is pretty interesting and but mostly unknown to me but also super random….they are private events for bartenders and management I guess that have retail accounts and require a RSVP in advance. It’s pretty hush-hush and I think you might actually need an invitation from Jameson themselves, but good to know I suppose if you ever thinking of crashing an awesome party. This would be a good place to start. The only information I could find on the next one is that it is happening in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Safe haven Laws- What everyone should know

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Thousands of infants are illegally and unsafely abandoned in the U.S. every year. It’s thought that many women/parents who abandon their infants do so unsafely is because they are often unaware that they have other, safer options. Every state in this country has  a safe haven law set in place for this exact reason, to assist in saving the lives of children who might otherwise come to harm. Because an over-whelmed parent unaware of all of their possible options. I am astounded at  times, at the number of stories I see on the news or read in the paper about abandoned children. The details of which are often scary and tragic. My heart breaks a little bit every time, especially with all the many capable parents in the world who want so desperately to provide a safe and happy home for children because they can not have their own. There are more than enough parents to care for kids whose biological parents can’t, so no child should be left behind. And I believe somewhere inside of many of these women despite whatever circumstances that cause them to relinquish responsibility over their children, many of them are doing what they believe is best at the time. Some are also just irresponsible and don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.

Ignorance and trauma are powerful things. To be in a multitude of stressful situations where you feel there is no way out, compounded by another mouth to feed and baby to care for, can lead to these types of horrific mistakes. I don’t in any way condone or approve of the abandoning of a child anywhere other than a safe haven where the proper authorities can help, but for every person who doesn’t know they have another option there is a child who may not make it.

This problem is beginning to feel like an epidemic in our country. According to the National Safe Haven Alliance, in the late 1990’s there was a surge in infant abandonment, many ending tragically and resulting in the death of these babies. These laws were instilled so that unharmed infants could be relinquished without the parents being afraid of persecution, which many are. Some worry that a current or past criminal history will land them in jail if they willingly step forward and try to give up a child. The first law was adopted and practiced in Texas in 1999.

Although each state has a safe haven law in place, the law itself within any given state does vary. However if people are educated and made aware of all of their options, I believe they could and would make better, safer and smarter decisions in regards to the infants they can’t care for appropriately. In general these law state that an unharmed child can usually be dropped off at any place, usually a police station, hospital or fire station, no questions asked and without legal persecution.

I am intensely effected by every story that I hear where these tragedies occur. If even one person reads this and is aware of that there are resources and help out there for them or someone they may know then I will be happy. No more leaving babies on subway platforms or in back alleys. I wasn’t sure how I could possibly help. Then I realized sharing information is one of the best ways to  help and inform.

Questions about Baby Safe Haven Laws or to get involved and promote these laws in your state.

1 (703) 496-4980

There is even a crisis hotline for anyone you may know who needs help or guidance.

1 (888) 510- BABY

There are resources and help out there and it is the responsibility of those of us who know more to help and educate the parental population that does not.

❤ Cassandra

Beer of the month-North Carolina Craft Breweries: Who knew?

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I heard it once said that beer is the most versatile beverage in the world. I can only feel that this must be true. It brings people from all coasts and of all creeds together in places celebrating and enjoying life for no other reason than because it taste good. This month I decided to highlight some of the craft brewers in the state of North Carolina. The art of the small brew has become increasingly popular in this country over the last few decades and even more so in the state of NC where and I am always surprised to find a fabulous beer brewed in a town or city I otherwise didn’t associate with beer. North Carolina is one such place. As a whole,  the state is home to over 100 breweries and brew pubs. Who knew. Among them are places where some of my favorite beers and 3 of the largest brewers in the United States reside: Sierra Nevada, New Belgium and Beer Oskar Blues. It’s very exciting because to top it off there are often some of the countries most eclectic and diverse craft beer festivals here too.

As of last year, April is the their official  “Beer Month” and after seeing all the festivities held in honor of the state’s thriving craft beer industry I can’t wait to attend  next year.

A great little tidbit: Many of the breweries in NC purchase from local farmers and small agricultural companies which helps to promote the environment and local agriculture there. New Belgium is even placing their second brewery this coming year in West Asheville because of their very pure water sources. Believing that to end up with a beer of wonders you must first begin with the purest form of whats most abundant in it. Water. It thrills me to no end and sets my tastes buds a blazing when I hear the investment and care these brewers go through to bring forth such wonderful creations within their craft.

These are just a few great beers I found a lot of the Brews pubs in NC talking about. So give them a try .:

Rochefort Trappistes 10

rochefort trappistes 10Abv 11.3 % This is a dark full-bodied beer with very distinct flavors of plum, raisin, caramel, malt and black currant. Sort of sweet but also very strong. This is not for the faint of heart but the brave and bold.

 

Goose Island Bourbon County Stout

goose island bourbon county stoutAbv 15 % Aged in bourbon barrels this stout is dark and dense, tasting of vanilla and caramel. It almost finishes slightly smoky but is so velvety and rich that some advise trying it with a cigar. It’s a great after dinner beer.

 

Bells Hopslam

bells hopslam beerAbv 10 % Using six different hop varieties this beer makes for a fun taste that’s aromatic and pungent for the senses. Its considered a Double Indian Pale Ale.

 

 

 

 

And if you are not a beer person than visit the state of North Carolina with a beer drinking friend or just enjoy  some of these fun and relatively unnecessary facts and trivia about NC….because I love lists. 🙂

  • Cape Hatteras is the largest light tower to ever be moved due to erosion…. so that’s exciting.
  • North Carolina is the largest producer of sweet potatoes in the nation… so I would assume also a great place to find pie.
  • Krispy Kreme Donuts was founded in Winston-Salem, NC….ummm I don’t eat these bc they are so good I am afraid I will become fat just from looking however still a valid reason for visiting. Beer and donuts. Yummy!
  • The first miniature golf course was built-in Fayetteville, NC…. which means there are probably amazing miniature golf locations down there.
  • Babe Ruth also hit his first professional home run in Fayetteville on March 7th, 1914.
  • Pepsi was invented in New Bern, NC  in 1898… so if  you have a healthy obsession with carbonated syrup this is exciting.
  • Andrew Johnson ( 7th President of the U.S.A in case you forgot) started his career as a tailors apprentice in Raleigh, NC…which is just strangely awesome in my opinion because I am not sure how that was the beginning of his political career.
  • North Carolina leads the nation, apparently, in tobacco, brick, textile and furniture production, which is pretty random but probably noteworthy information for someone.
  • They have a pretty cool state motto : Esse quam videri (To be rather than to seem).

All in all this month of beer searching was enlightening for me, I have a new list of great beers that I think will be perfect for the coming fall weather and what a time I will have drinking them. Hope you enjoyed what one of the great southern states has to offer us all. Till next month, on the 16th, find the beer that helps you bask in the joys of life and hop in.

Happy sippin.

❤ Cassandra

 

 

 

 

 

Dude Dinners: Summer on a mini BBQ

Welcome to this edition of Dude Dinners!  It’s summer and it just wouldn’t be a dude dinner if it wasn’t perhaps cooked in the outdoors.

Oh how joyous the summer truly is….. the sun is brighter, hotter and shines longer into the night. One of my favorite things in the summer is bar-b-q time. The list of fantastic foods you can make on the grill are endless. What surprised me this summer is how my boyfriend, some friends of ours and myself utilized the mini bar-b-q grill this summer so far. We have created a long list of amazingly fantastic foods that are generally reserved for that wonderful propane grill your dad got for father’s day. Well…. we had quite a time and I am excited to share what we came up with. There is a roast, ribs, veggies, hot wings, a shrimp boil and more.

The grill we used is a 20 dollar contraption that we got from Wal-Mart. It’s perfect if you travel or if you simply don’t have a huge backyard space with an equally huge grill with all the fabulous amenities. It’s rare that I am deterred in life by anything least of all space. NYC is the type of place where you learn all about compromise in regards to space and you come up with awesome ways of utilizing what you have.

This first recipe belongs to Red, and being from North Carolina his influence on how we cook has become most southern I must say. It’s what he calls a shrimp boil. We did use a giant stew pot for this that we placed on the stove for several hours and then brought outside. So it in fact wasn’t made on the mini grill, however the bar b q experience would have been boring without it.

RED’S SHRIMP BOIL

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Ingredients:

4 lbs. shrimp ( peeled and de-veined)                    Salt and pepper, Old bay seasoning

3 lbs. small red potatoes (aka baby reds, aka new potatoes)

6 ears corn ( cut into thirds)

turkey sausage

Beer giant 3 gallon stew pot (Or feel free to adjust the ingredients and use the largest pot you have)

Process:

-Begin by washing all your veggies and setting aside. You are going to put them into the pot whole.

-Next you place all your ingredients into the pot except for the shrimp ( which you put in about ten minutes before everything else is cooked)

-Pour enough water (and your beer) to just cover the ingredients  and add spices according to your taste. We added lots of Old Bay ( a whole can)

-Let boil down for about an hour or until your potatoes are fully cooked ( when you can place a fork in them and it slides off)

-Turn off heat and add shrimp


This little piece of spicy magic came about because several of our friends had been craving hot wings all week. No problem. Because Red was out the door and on his way to the store before the sentence even left her mouth. We have cooked these in the fry pan first  however cooking them on the grill first is the way to go if you want that delicious smoky flavor that only comes with cooking outside. Also be ware, this is a super spicy dish so if you suffer from extreme heart burn or acid reflux as I do, then make sure to take your Nexium or Zantac Before you eat these. 🙂

HOTTER THAN HOT WINGS

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Ingredients:

5 packs small chicken winglets                    Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Large bottle Frank’s Red Hot sauce

Extra virgin olive oil

1 stick of butter (8 tbsp)

Sauce:

Mix most of your bottle of Frank’s Red hot sauce with your stick of butter (melted) and stir

Process:

-Heat your oil on med heat. ( or if using the grill, heat your coals up until the fire has died down)

-Season your wings with salt and pepper

-Fry your wings until crispy and medium brown on all sides ( same applies if your cooking them on the grill)

-Roll them immediately in your wing sauce and set aside


Next up, Sheldon’s tailgate ribs. Appropriately named, this recipe comes from the fabulous Mr. Sheldon, one of Red’s co-workers whose astute knowledge of ribs made for a fabulous and indulgent day of grilling.  These ribs are super sweet and savory, almost like candy. And to that we say thank you!

SHELDON’S TAILGATE RIBS

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Ingredients:

8-10 lbs ribs                         Salt and Pepper (to taste)

3 large white onions (diced)              Large aluminum pan and foil

Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce

Pancake syrup

3-4 oz. Dr Pepper

Rib sauce:

Mix your pancake syrup, diced onions and  BBQ sauce together and set aside.

Process:

-First, take your ribs and boil them (on the stove) in water for at least 45 mins. This tenderizes and cooks the rib meat perfectly.

-Then drain ribs and place into your large aluminum pan.

-Cover ribs entirely with the rib sauce and cover with foil, poking a few holes in it.

-Place onto your grill and let cook for at least 45 mins or until the sauce has thickened and reduced down about 1/3 of the way.


Among these recipes we cooked up veggies too…. zucchini, peppers, onions and eggplant all sliced up and put into a vinaigrette and olive oil sauce then placed in a foil bowl and put onto the grill.

We threw hamburgers with cheese and bacon in the meat onto the grill….eat as you please.

Turkey sausages graced our grill as well as regular hot dogs.

And finally, we enjoyed all these wonders with ice-cold beers that we threw into a little cooler with ice, sitting by the mini grill covered in laughter and happiness, the final products leading to full bellies and a whole lot of awesome recipes that can be applied to a grill of any caliber.

Hope you enjoyed this edition of Dude Dinners! The boys in my life truly did a number this summer Dude-ing up some great foods for me!

❤ Cassandra

Sidenote: As per usual, I couldn’t find the few photos I managed to take of the food we ate this summer and/or we ate it too fast and so I used photos of similar recipes I found online, but I can assure you our recipes look exactly the same. I like to illustrate through photos the food we enjoy and am working on making sure my food is photographed before it is eaten. hehehe You understand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ridiculous food items you didn’t know existed.

On my quest to make this list I was distracted by the many other lists on the internet that had nothing to do whatsoever with ridiculous food items you didn’t know existed. I almost peed my pants trying to write this. Seriously. I am going to happily write an article involving lists about the “worst named food items”, “weird food gadgets” and “worst fried foods”. But this article isn’t about those but I suggest you read this one and then wait patiently for the others to actually blow your socks off and possibly make you pee your pants too.

There are way too many foods that just simply should not exist at all. And yet…. they do. Even worst, I believe there are people out there ( you know who you are) who are participating in the eating of said products. No judgement. That is a lie, I am totally judging any and everyone who would willingly partake in consuming one or any of the products on this list. Mostly because everything mentioned would make me puke immediately if not sooner.

 

1. download (1)Jimmy Dean makes Chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick. It resembles a corn dog gone all the way wrong. Corn dogs by themselves are unnecessarily gross and I’ve never come across one single corn dog that didn’t give someone I knew diarrhea. And I would never bother trying one for the obvious reasons mentioned above.

 

2. Burger King makes a Ketchup and fries potato chip snack. The bag says it has zero grams of trans fats, as though you’d care if you’re eating a bag filled with a total abomination of a food product.

3. Pizza on a stick. Not even sure who makes these or why. It barely matters though, as I am convinced these were invented for lazy pieces of shit who don’t like washing their hands.

4. Dunkin’ Donuts makes a Bacon, egg and cheese on a donut. I am not even surprised, just decided to maybe never get breakfast items from there ever again. We shall see, they do make a mean sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant. Sometimes the employees even say the word “croissant” like they know it’s French.

5. Carl’s Jr’s makes a Strawberry pop tart ice cream sandwich.  Have no fear, they are just doing their part to contribute to nationwide childhood obesity.images

 

 

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6. KFC decided once to create and then put out Mac-N-Cheese bites. Ummmm I’m sorry but mac-n-cheese that isn’t served in a plate or bowl where
utensils are definitely required lest you be shunned from society, is simply an artificially produced “cheese” product that probably causes cancer. So you have been warned.

7. True to form, Burger King, Going strong, came up with a Bacon Sundae. Which is for sure gross to me but I can see the masses enjoying this one for some reason. Perhaps because bacon, in moderation, isn’t quite so offensive, unlike weird corn dog like pancake sausage things on a stick.

8. Allegedly Wendy’s once did a Lobster and caviar burger. So we are clear, this could very easily be a straight up  internet lie. What city, I wonder, was their target audience. NYC or LA I would assume but who actually knows. I’ll let the caviar that I decide to consume  come from the very schwanky, over uppity upper east side parties I attend for the free champagne. Because at least there I won’t wonder if what I’m consuming is actually caviar or a weird fish roe that is bought cheap at the south street seaport market at all kinds of shady hours.

lobster burger, wendys.co.jp

9. McDonald’s in Canada makes a Mclobster. Now, what this means exactly I don’t know. I now a Mcdouble at McDonald’s in the U.S. involves beef on a bun and other items that are never there in real life, just in the commercial. I’m not even sure, besides lobster, what else is included in this very strange-sounding concoction. Perhaps their just more classy in Canada and we shouldn’t be asking questions.

10. Oh Dunkin’ Donuts, how do you do it. Don’t answer. Here they are again on this list. Not surprised? Neither was I when I realized how many absurd food items existed at the hands of Dunkin’ Donuts. Anyhow, in China they make a Donut stuffed with pork and seaweed. It is apparently very popular. It kind of makes me feel like it’s really an egg-roll of some kind, stuffed with pork and seaweed. It sounds like it’s in disguise as a donut but I couldn’t truly say, as I have never been to China to taste it. Just call it an egg roll and admit you are now serving dinner items now. :-/

11.download If you are wondering why I didn’t stop at 10 items, it’s because I mislabeled the numbers on the paper I was writing this list on. It may have something to do with the fact that I was drinking Miller light and chinese food at the same time while writing this but I can’t say. Anyhow, Kit kat decided to make a Wasabi flavored Kit Kat bar. They are a real thing and that’s as far as I actually even care to delve into this one.

 

Hope you enjoyed and/or are now more informed on the very strange food items that exist in the world that probably shouldn’t. 🙂

❤ Cassandra

 

 

 

We are abusing social media

Welcome to the first edition of a new category in my blog. It’s title “Cassandra’s Do’s and Don’ts” and is apart of my “Random Rants” section

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So….I am on Facebook but not twitter, instagram or shutter-whatever. However, people who do utilize these other social media outlets often connect them to their fb accounts and so you often are privy to the “memes” , “photos” and other various social commentary that comes with this type of extreme social activity, that is common in our generation. Here is where I come to my point.

I sometimes wish people would stop “meme-ing”, “posting”, “tagging” and whatever else you call it, about stuff, morals, do’s and don’ts that they don’t actually practice in their own life. Don’t post gross sexually explicit cartoon illustrations where the cartoons are in all kinds of sexual positions you know you’ve never tried. Save it for your weird group that meets up on Tuesdays at 5.

Don’t floss on instagram in front of a car you don’t own because you forgot it will also post on facebook. I know you in real life and you drive a 2009 Honda, not a Maserati.

Don’t take mad photos of stacks of cash after you got your income tax check and then use those photos for the next 6 months, as though you are stacking cash all day.

If you post regrettable photos that are explicitly showing your not-so-in-shape ass those are there forever and NO I haven’t forgotten you posted them.

Stop posting the intimate details of every intimate argument or discrepancy you have with your boyfriend/husband/partner, because despite the 19 comments that all start with “awww, honey you will get through it”, your friends think you look desperate for attention. Be discreet and speak in drunken generalities like the rest of us when we are angry with our spouse.

Don’t be afraid to use the ‘delete’ or  ‘edit’ button. I am 99% positive they  invented it for this exact  reason folks.

Do, however share the photos, quotes and activities that make you uniquely you.

However please don’t’ post your bigoted, racist, discriminatory shit, because that just shows us you are a bigot, a racist and  discriminatory. There are probably groups for that.

This may be a touchy subject and if you are sensitive person perhaps you should skip this one. Everyone who thinks their kids are cute are usually incorrect. You’ll know your kid is cute because we will tell you. And fuck you, friends, who lie way too often about your friends kids who are actually ugly and not cute at all. There are tons of ways to let your friends, who had mediocre looking babies before they could afford them, that you support them anyways. Send a smiley face. Post a “congratulations”. So simple folks. Don’t get crazy. Stop using words like “cute”, “gorgeous”, or “beautiful” when it doesn’t apply.

Oooohh this next one really gets me going. Please people, stop “liking” posts and comments that are clearly a personal joke between 2 other people. Don’t press the “like” button if you have no idea what the comments or posts means. Because whoever the post was really meant for, we are raising our eyebrows and saying “Bye bitch, stop crowding my news feed”. Not knowing the difference between a post that is meant for whoever might be familiar with the context and posts and the ones for the general public is like not knowing if you should  wipe front to back or back to front.  If you even thought about this comment for more than 3 seconds immediately stop reading my blog. This does not include any person(s) who may be inebriated while reading this article. You’re welcome.

If you think I have been randomly ranting for far too long now, just hold on, it continues. Feel free to take a water break and come back. perhaps save the other half for a future lunch break at work. Whatever works for you. You’ll probably be excited when you return because my Kanye-like rant actually segways into a pro-Kanye rant.

Now, granted I have never been excited about him going off, often un-prompted and unnecessarily about too much stuff. However being a small participant in social media I often read other people’s articles about Kanye. Usually popular bloggers, journalists and entertainment reporters. It seems like more often than not they are going on about how he has turned out to be the very thing he himself used to rant about not becoming. Not sure what that even means. How and why is it bad that he is absurdly in love with his woman? Who cares if he healthily obsesses, in the public eye, about his lady. Didn’t we all go  hard and wear way too many uncomfortable heels and skirts in our 20’s with the hope that we’d find a guy who would feel and act this way about us openly? The answer is yes. Bye people. Hating on the fact that his baby has a driver, nanny, protective detail and an actual Maserati at 1 years old is just messed up. So what…what you think he raps for, to push a fucking Rav-4? No. And you would treat your entourage, kids, family and friends to those things too if you had hundreds of millions of dollars too.

That’s all for today’s random rant… I greatly appreciate anyone who made it the bottom of this list. 🙂

Cassandra