Cool things I learned from the Aaron Eckhart movie, “Love Happens”

Love happens– 2009- Starring Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston, Directed by Brandon Camp-109 mins PG-13



aaron eckhart

So I watched this movie a few times, and I was incredibly touched by it. Brought to tears actually during so many scenes. The kind of tears that you are not prepared for in any kind of way at all. This movie doesn’t exactly seem at first glance like a tear jerker. Not necessarily. I mean I am definitely one of those people who cries even when I see a great Gerber commercial with a beautiful little chubby baby. But I just wasn’t prepared for the deeply embedded message of this movie. The loss of a loved one and the steps people take or don’t take to get through it. I had to find the transcribed script online and read through it because I was still not sure after several times of watching it randomly on tv why I was so passionately effected. I soon realized. Words are powerful. And if you get down to the meat and bone of the written words of this script it is absolutely a magical message, in my mind. A hard one to swallow and also feel, I think by so many of us who struggle with and carry it everyday. And there in lied my answer. Deep within the lines of the movie and in between those lines where silence spoke when the characters did not.

Aaron Eckart’s character is a self-taught inspirational speaker, as I am assuming all inspirational speakers are. He used his own grief and trauma and channeled it into a way of survival and then through his workshops and books shared it with others attempting throughout the movie to give them the tools to do so for themselves.

It was very interesting because this movie consisted of a few ingredients that make for a good romantic comedy/drama that I am a sucker for. It had two very relatable main characters unknowingly stuck in their own gel of grief and mistakes. Both of a very different kind. They then meet each other at times of their lives where neither is really open or ready for a partner or love because they are silently suffering through their own demons. But Love nevertheless finds a way, of course. I was thrilled by the ending as I am an eternal optimist. I’m just a big softy really. Well I’m not actually big I am a pretty small person but that is besides the point. I digress. 🙂

Shortly into the movie during one of his seminars he gives the people there a wonderful example of a metaphor that is so incredibly relevant. He shows them the busy city from below on the streets where they notice how noisy and busy it is. It’s very hectic, the noise from people and cars is loud and disturbing. Then they climb the stairs of a very tall building and go all the way to the roof. Here they can see everything that they saw from below but it is obviously very different. The people in the seminar notice that it’s quiet and can see things from above that you simply couldn’t see from below. The point being that when you change your perspective in a given circumstance and try peering at something from a different view or a different level you literally see things differently. He was trying to teach them that even through extreme grief and loss you must climb the stairs of life and see everything from a different perspective.

This is a very difficult thing to do in real life. For almost everyone at any given time this can seemingly be impossible. It takes great strength and usually a mistake or two to see things differently than you are used to looking at them That’s not to say we don’t all figure out how to do this throughout life. Grief brought on by the loss of a loved one, however, can be when this is the most difficult. I realized this watching this movie, as I have lost many people in my young life. Both my parents, a close cousin when I was a teenager (due to criminal violence), a grandparent in my youth, a grandparent as an adult, an aunt as a child. I lost all these people within a like 12 or 13 year period. That is a lot of loss for even one long life time, let alone a human who is only 30 years old.

I have my list of favorite actors and I can assure you Aaron Eckart has never graced this list but as I watched him in this movie deliver the emotions I have personally felt, watched him deliver the emotions of the trauma that the unexpected loss of a loved one brings on, I was shocked. I was impressed with the accuracy in which he relayed how and when this occurs, out of self-preservation we sometimes repress our emotions about these things. After all, life goes on no matter who dies. It doesn’t stop and therefore neither can you.

I learned all this in my 20’s, which is when I was able to process most of my loss in a healthy way. But this movie reminded me to never forget the struggle everyone in life goes through when they lose someone dear and that we carry this with us forever. The healing process can be long or short as long as it happens.

Thank you Aaron Eckart movie.




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