When Silence is Best…When is it best?
When you are in your twenties you wind up learning from mistakes that generally seem, at the time, like you did not need to learn from them. However it is almost always the opposite. One of the biggest lessons I have stumbled upon and still have yet to figure out fully is the lesson of ‘More is less’ . You get the point I’m sure. Sometimes it’s best, in a variety of circumstances to assess the situation for what it actually is, which can take time by the way, maybe more encounters than one, and then sometimes you even have to maybe marinate on whatever it is that is bothering you. Meaning, everyone to their own respective corners.
As one of those very boisterously verbal people I tend to always have a strong opinion about something one way or another. Over the years I have found myself, because of this, often in heated conversations about things that I am passionate about. Which is to say I am pretty passionate about lots of topics. lol It bothered me for a while though when I found that a perfectly strong debate would often turn into an intense super charged conversation where my pulse was raised and the tone of whatever I was trying to say became skewed because of the excessive amount of passion.
It’s important to be able to exchange thoughts in a way that reflects how you feel, especially if you feel strongly, but without being oppressive to the other participants. Basically, I have learned a few great steps that lead to the carrying on of a great conversation and how to have positive social interactions.
Firstly you must understand that sometimes silence is best. If you are all ready and set to defend your opinions or thoughts immediately you haven’t processed what the other person has said or felt. You must literally be silent in order to listen to others. Often silence gives us the time and space mentally to truly wrap our mind around the words, gestures and tones we want to use that are appropriate for the conversation. Sometimes the time needed for such a thing comes in the form of minutes or even days.
Secondly you can not put judgement where it does not belong. I have made that mistake, more than a few times, of subconsciously being judgemental toward another when my intent was simply to convey my disagreement or whatever feeling it was that I was having. You must not judge unnecessarily. Or at the very least pre-face your judgement with “I hate to sound judgemental”.
All in all, being an opinionated person does not mean that you need to express it at all times. I absorb more when I am silent.
Because Sometimes….Silence is best.