Sometimes silence is best



When Silence is Best…When is it best?

When you are in your twenties you wind up learning from mistakes that generally seem, at the time, like you did not need to learn from them. However it is almost always the opposite. One of the biggest lessons I have stumbled upon and still have yet to figure out fully is the lesson of  ‘More is less’ . You get the point I’m sure. Sometimes it’s best, in a variety of circumstances to assess the situation for what it actually is, which can take time by the way, maybe more encounters than one, and then sometimes you even have to maybe marinate on whatever it is that is bothering you. Meaning, everyone to their own respective corners.


As one of those very boisterously verbal people I tend to always have a strong opinion about something one way or another. Over the years I have found myself, because of this, often in heated conversations about things that I am passionate about. Which is to say I am pretty passionate about lots of topics. lol It bothered me for a while though when I found that a perfectly strong debate would often turn into an intense super charged conversation where my pulse was raised and the tone of whatever I was trying to say became skewed because of the excessive amount of passion.

It’s important to be able to exchange thoughts in a way that reflects how you feel, especially if you feel strongly, but without being oppressive to the other participants. Basically, I have learned a few great steps that lead to the carrying on of a great conversation and how to have positive social interactions.

Firstly you must understand that sometimes silence is best. If you are all ready and set to defend your opinions or thoughts immediately you haven’t processed what the other person has said or felt. You must literally be silent in order to listen to others. Often silence gives us the time and space mentally to truly wrap our mind around the words, gestures and tones we want to use that are appropriate for the conversation. Sometimes the time needed for such a thing comes in the form of minutes or even days.

Secondly you can not put judgement where it does not belong. I have made that mistake, more than a few times, of subconsciously being judgemental toward another when my intent was simply to convey my disagreement or whatever feeling it was that I was having. You must not judge unnecessarily. Or at the very least pre-face your judgement with “I hate to sound judgemental”.

All in all, being an opinionated person does not mean that you need to express it at all times. I absorb more when I am silent.

Because Sometimes….Silence is best.



Your typical childhood lunch,


soul food

So this daily post went into how writing about your typical school lunch as a child is a great way to help with writer’s block. Hmmm, that’s what I said when I read that but I continued to read on with a high level of suspicion. How in the world is writing about my lunch time food as a kid going to help me in any way at all? I am not even sure I can re-collect what I ate as a child on a regular basis.

Though, I do have a section in my blog labeled ” Fantastic Food” and some of the best food I have enjoyed without bias or judgement was when I was a kid, grateful now, that my mother and my grandpa always encouraged food as an exciting feat to be conquered that you can then taste. I always stood at the edge of the kitchen counter in great anticipation of every little ingredient my grandpa would put into his lima bean soup, which we had a fair amount of the time. Seriously,  my cousins and I would have lima bean soup a lot at grandpa’s house and he would always add a dash spice and a story about being a cook in the navy so every drop was delicious. My mom made fantastic Lasagna, and it never mattered what time of the day it was, huge family style meals were cooked at any given time of the day which meant lunch as a kid could easily be an amalgamation of heavier food from the previous nights dinner or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But it wasn’t very often that the latter occurred. My moms family was from the south originally so food was overbearingly filled with soul I would assume. My grandmother made a fabulous peach cobbler. When I was a kid I definitely didn’t understand the idea of the word ‘cobbler’ let alone what it even was, but we always wound up eating every single bite of it. And if I was at my grandpa’s house as a kid he would let me have a piece in the middle of the day if no one else was around, as not to ruin my appetite for dinner. My grandpa planted the seed of love for pastries and baked goods inside of me for sure. hehe.

I can also recall, with much better certainty, the food my grandpa made for us as a teenager. Baked fish was often on the menu. I didn’t realize until I was an adult that an enormous amount of butter must have been used when doing so. When I asked my cousin Jeremy, who is but two years younger than I, his recollection was even more vivid and hilarious than my own, having recalled grandpa drinking what amounts to a Black long island iced tea minus the tea and calling everyone “jive turkeys”, (still unsure what that means) and the 6 o clock news playing in the background, always. Still this never prevented a fabulous meal from happening. And my grandmother, Emma, who was probably the most elegant woman you’d ever come across, made a fabulous spaghetti sauce from scratch. Everything she did was nothing short of fabulous including raising 6 children, one of which was not her own, putting up with grandpa and still finding time to wear a mink coat with the appropriate jewelry whenever the mood struck her. 🙂

Some of my childhood memories were clouded by not so great memories, but thinking of the times any of us were huddled around food clears some of that up for me. Which must be saving me on therapy at the moment.


So here I sit, daily post, having originally been of a skeptical mindset about writing about lunch time as a kid. Then the words fell onto the page as you said they would. Thank you. I think the memories of our childhood are forever imprinted on our souls and in our minds, they can never be forgotten and if I can drudge up things I ate on a regular basis 20 years ago I hope I can reach within myself for all my future blogging endeavors. Thank you daily post. 🙂



The news sucks.


Hey guys, I wrote this piece in March and am just getting it to ya! enjoy!

The News Sucks. Sometimes.

I’ve decided we should  just come up with something else to call the news rather than the news. Because calling it the news  would imply that we are going to be informed about worldly, local, political and environmental issues pertaining to us all in a socio-economic way. Well, even the extremely reputable ones are just border line entertainment news stations now. I use the word reputable loosely. 🙂

I have even come across great news stations covering a national or international story that is in fact of importance but instead of actually sending out there investigative journalist to say, do some actual investigating, they just repeat the same 3 pieces of information that even fox news can manage to drudge up. Its become laughable, like I actually started laughing while watching CNN one night as respected reporters, journalists and analysts of various kinds sort of stumbled on and over 2 little shreds of non information in an attempt to convey some “news”. hahaha I will tell you I watch CNN and other highly respectable networks regularly and they often don’t have a problem gathering all the “facts” and using the necessary amounts of “allegedly’s” when reporting on the latest celebrity divorce.

Ugggh, that’s how I feel every single time I go into Yahoo to check my email and I’m bombarded with absurd entertainment news that I have already been bombarded with on my fb page ads and my tv and everywhere else in the world. I am truly ever so nauseous at some of the very random things, trends, story lines, bad tv shows and massive amounts of “news”  that doesn’t actually matter.

For example: Why do we need to be informed on actual reputable news stations that some actress, who no one even knows btw, thinks that twilight is toxic? Firstly, we are trying to all forget we were ever interested in those horrifying movies at all with all that terrible acting and poorly executed make up attempts, so please just let that die. Because I’m already embarrassed that I have seen all the movies like five times each. Well that isn’t even true, but as I’ve said the true number is embarrassing.

Oh and Why is “The Bachelor” still on? I know why, because people keep watching it, so they keep playing it. I’m not even suggesting one with more substance in the content but maybe not a show that is so obviously fake and scripted. Or better yet NBC please just properly label “The Bachelor” a sitcom and stop convincing whoever it is that actually watches that show that there is an actual chance for those silly women to find love.  I only say so because I immediately have a headache when I hear the commercials for it when they come on. Lest me not judge too harshly I suppose…I watch my fair share of trashy “reality” tv and horrid game show programming, but that’s only when ‘Antique Roadshow’ and ‘The Cosmos’  isn’ t on… (insert obnoxious evil laugh)

However, how is it news that  some model suffered with weight issues? no shit. Not that all suffer from those issues, but we already know how prevalent that is in that industry so the least you can do is wait and report on a model who actually will make a change in regards to such a serious topic that so many women struggle with in real life,  not some seemingly dim wit who hasn’t gotten work in a few years and is using a sad and serious topic as a PR ploy to re-vamp their career. Just saying. I like being skinny and have gone through the regular “Am I fat” thing in the mirror for the entirety of my 20’s. I get it. But like, are you going to start a camp or group or charity, a blog or trauma reach out call center or something for other girls going through those issues? No? Ok then please get out of my tv screen.

Oh and Please  please please will all the media outlets stop reporting 80 million dollar penthouse sales as “breaking news”. It’s not breaking news that the one percent is still wealthy and  thriving. And that the rest of us still are not.  Or that the multimillion dollar Manhattan apts almost no one in Manhattan can actually afford are down in price. Because we still can’t afford them at the very “cheap price of 13 million $” I actually saw this on a news program that was reporting on how we should be excited because the apartments in a certain upper class, very expensive building in NYC were now “affordable”. Bye

ESPN, don’t worry can’t forget our sports stations. Why are you rubbing it in that despite the fact that Kobe Bryant will only play 6 games this season he still gets his contractual 28 million dollars.?? All that makes fans wanna do is return that over priced jersey. Since it is  us, well not me, but isn’t it all of the fans  that makes those athletic professionals a commodity in the first place? Maybe not. I’m not actually sure if my rant even deserves to include sports channels, but I often watch some of the shows because of the surprising humor factor in regards to the hosts. Many of them are super funny and generally quite knowledgable about sports.

The most interesting and best covered thing I’ve seen on the news recently was about the triplet tiger cubs born in  London. Which may or may not be a sad thing, depending on your priorities.

Even when a very important issue, or topic, or murder case that should be reported, actually is,  it often feels these days that networks seem to be afraid to stop at simply reporting the news. Give the facts that you have actually gathered and verified and if there is more to figure out then tell us that. There is no need for a very overly made up woman with ninety layers of foundation on and co anchor in an ill fitted suit to stretch out an hours worth of news with their opinions and here-say. Like, don’t tell me what you “think” may have happened in a murder case Fox News! Just tell me what actually happened and then catch me up when you have some more facts. Because after all your anchor isn’t a lawyer, judge, investigative reporter or anything else that might warrant respect from me.

I do however have to give respect to all that I’m sure it takes into producing and making a live news production every day, several times a day. After all the networks have a lot of time to fill. I understand that and I also understand that everyone is not represented by my rant. But my general consensus is that News as a whole is becoming horrifically non informative.

My grandpa used to say that he read all the newspapers and watched all the news broadcasts he could find because he wanted to know what the intelligent people in our society were reporting but he also wanted to know what the idiots were reporting too. hehehe My grandpa was a smart dude.

Hope you enjoyed this Random Rant and I think I will dedicate this one to my grandpa Amos Nathaniel Shields! 🙂

Ooh and The newspaper clipping photo above I made in an awesome Newspaper clipping generator on  which I thought was super cool. I even wrote a bogus news story on a Martian evasion. 🙂

Saturday Surprise! 5 things that annoy me.

Good morning,

As a Saturday surprise I  decided to make a list of some things that annoy me half to death for no other reason than I was happily inspired by a fellow blogger who did the same. His piece gave me a good laugh but mostly I found myself shaking my head and going uhhh huhh to the list that had provided. It was the perfect combo for my coffee this morning and since I have a category in my blog aptly named “Random Rants”, I figured “Why the hell not!”  Here is his blog, just read it because it’s absurdly offensive in all the right ways, seriously I even voted for him for an award titled “most likely to piss people off” hehehe

Here we go….

  1. Ummm so what’s up with those channels, cable or otherwise that play the same commercial on every commercial break? I get it, you want me to sign up for Farmers insurance and the song is real catchy so I probably will but there is no need in a half hour show to see the same damn commercial 12 times. I am already fully aware of the purpose of the advertisements to brain wash me with their “can’t get them out of my head” jingles.

  2. How come people keep sending me invites to play “candy crush”  on facebook? Or an invite to investigate some crime scene in that weird fb game called, crime investigation. I block the embarrassing games I play on fb as not to embarrass myself. Everyone else should too.

  3. This one only applies to women, but you guys should appreciate our struggle anyhow. How come the 7 dollar “non-crack” nail polish I just bought, cracks? wtf. It’s not like they let you return the opened polished that failed to do what the label said it is supposed to do, back at Duane Reade. Just label it “May not crack nail polish”. Solved.

  4. Yes, people who exercise and eat healthy also smoke cigarettes and drink beer with whiskey on the side. People always seem genuinely surprised to hear I love beer, like, should I only drink wine spritzers and trashy chick cocktails that give you bad hangovers?

  5. Finally, one of the things most annoying to me these days are the internet servers. I know I should be grateful I don’t live in a 3rd world country, and have access to clean water and the internet. But why does it take my computer fifty-nine minutes to load a damn page? I see those Verizon commercials trying to convince me that they are the best network. Lies I tell you. All lies.


If these things don’t annoy you…well, they should, especially the ongoing internet issues I seem to be encountering and these nail polish companies that keep lying to me about non crack nail polish. 🙂

Happy Saturday!


April showers bring The beer of the month- Troegs ‘Perpetual Imperial Pale Ale’



Welcome to the  revamped edition of my beer section, which will be a monthly feature of my favorite beer(s) every month. Now what makes any particular lager, stout or ale my choice favorite? Well, nothing and everything. Perhaps it’s the hoppy essence of a long-lost IPA that re-kindled the spark of  my love of beer or the heavy look of a dark lager I’ve never tasted. For the month of May I have decided to highlight Troegs, Perpetual  Imperial Pale ale.

The wonderful man in my life, some of you may remember as Red, having been highlighted before in my blog for his wonderful “Dude Dinners” and ever scrumptious “Bro Brunches” is  apart of a beer club at his local liquor dispensary. We each have a growler, which amounts to 60 oz. that you buy and then re-fill whenever you’d like, only paying for the beer on draught they have at any given time. They change them out every week or so. This is such a wonderful way to experience new beers, if you don’t say… want to make your entire life’s search for the worlds greatest beer a regularly weekend drunk fest. Not that we don’t try to engage in our generations version of a good time. 🙂

A little about the brewsky:

The Troegs brewery was founded in 1996 by two brothers and their employees get a free case of beer during every pay period. Nice! That includes all 150 employees, nine of which are brewers. Their beer is brewed out of Hershey, PA.

Alc– 7.5% by volume – which basically means that if your a light weight than two full pints will give you a nice buzz hehe

Color– Straw golden like color- which is pretty to look during consumption of this delicious IPA

Hops– Mt. Hood, Chinook, Bravo- my knowledge on hops in regards to beer making is limited but I found this info on the Troegs website and decided immediately to begin an education involved in hops. 🙂

Flavor- To me the flavor was very citrus- like at first, so much so I actually pursed my lips a bit. A habit I always felt was reserved for and seen in older English women who got their tea served  at the wrong temperature. Then after a few slow sips, the almost malty hoppiness of it slammed into my senses and it was actually quite refreshing on the after taste. It was a warmer day with some sunshine and clouds overhead when I tried it so perhaps that had something to do with it, but mostly I think it’s kind of one of those IPA’s that is a wonderful beer to drink on a warm spring day at a bar-b-q. If you like IPA’s. If you don’t like them, even a little, then the sheer bitterness of this beer won’t catch your fancy, in which case I recommend don’t buy 60 oz. worth.

Nevertheless don’t shy away if you are ever  in a pub and get the chance to try a taste. Go on, bartenders are required (by law?)  to let you have a taste of a beer, so ask and you shall receive. 🙂

Hope enjoyed my beer selection for the month of May…. I did! Every single ounce of it. 🙂

Happy sipping



Zero to hero- day 28- create a new feature

Today’s assignment: develop a regular feature for your blog

For today’s assignment I had all types of ideas in terms of adding a feature perhaps weekly, to my blog. Then I realized I already had one in the making, sort of. One of the categories in my blog is titled “Beer of the month”  where I highlight an awesome beer that I’ve come across either from being out on the town 🙂 or one I find in the grocery store. Sometimes I even come across a beer I haven’t tasted in a very long time and will be highlighting that one.

The problem was that until day 28’s assignment came up I wasn’t exactly doing that, having focused on other writings and trying to keep up with my zero to hero assignments. I am so excited however because it allowed me to go into the many drafts I have and finish some of the things I was thinking of sharing. I hope you enjoy. For the Month May I will be writing about a great craft beer from the Stone Brewery called ‘Arrogant Bastard’


Zero to hero- day 27- Build on the popular

Today’s assignment: find the post that has received the most views, likes, or comments, and write a related follow-up post. 

So next to my homepage my stats on wordpress say that one post I published on March 24th has the most “views”. Although I am not sure if this means it is the most popular, also it says that it has 10 comments and when you click on them they are all pingbacks. Still not sure even at day 27 what that’s all about and why pingbacks show up as comments. I just hope it’s a positive thing. hehe

So anyways here is a link to the original post

It was a Dp challenge called “Writerly Reflection” and as I re-read it I decided it was one of my favorite pieces as well. However I am having troubling discerning the patterns of my readers as is suggested for this assignment. Although I have quite a few pieces published I am not sure if the 30 something I have published is enough to find what my readers truly like. I could use some help with this one. Would love some input.

Thanks guys in advance