You don’t have 17 days for rehab?…

Really Amy and every other celebrity/person we cherish who dies too young?

Where to begin… well lets begin with one of my favorite songs , ” rehab” by Amy Winehouse. Why the hell couldn’t she just go to rehab? Ever ask yourself that question?  Obviously addiction is much more complicated than simply quitting but this isn’t the Dr. Drew show so I am just ranting about it. However, are the rest of you in my generation  sick of seeing our idles die because of drug overdose? Its’s almost normal these days. Isn’t it sad when someone dies and you’re not actually surprised?  Is excessive drug use being glorified? Not sure. But I am sick of the fact that these suckas have zero tolerance and/or zero respect for the consequences of those kind of actions.? Because if you shoot heroin into your arm you are literally playing roulette. And not the roulette at the casino, your playing a game where the house always wins. When you take 12 oxycodone with your coffee before work you might die in your office bathroom. And if you think sclerosis of the liver will skip you despite the fact that you drink a bottle of vodka a day you may be surprised. What about how it affects those in your immediate life? Or those not in your immediate life? Those who love you? What happened to a few beers? What happened to not dying? Let it be said that being famous and acquiring celebrity DOES NOT make you an addict. Celebrity mixed with disposable amounts of money is what seems to amplify who you are already, your natural tendencies. But average people seem to be able to always find cash for their next fix too. I don’t know whats worse, the poor person who will do anything for their drugs or the wealthy person who can afford every single drug in abundance.

It might be smarter to just say that its the drugs that amplify who you are. So if you have an addictive personality maybe become obsessed with comic book collecting or bikhram yoga or something. Large sums of income and wealth do help lubricate that transition from an ok life to a possibly extraordinary one but  now the attitude is “If I choose, I can not only afford tons of drugs for every single person on the sunset strip who decides to stop by my flat but for  myself too, if I so choose.”  But also, people’s head space seems to be that even if they are caught or seek ” help”  they will  get off. Serving 10 days of rehab does not count people. Quitting heroine by use of methadone is not the greatest solution  for example but one of the only few out there and needs to be supplemented with other forms of help that is often available only to the very wealthy. This is our fault as a society too because relapse for opioid users is much more likely than from other drugs and we have to help too if we can.   (But this is how our media/generation/laws/govt functions now)  uggggggh  I’m tired of our celebrities, our wealthy”adults” and our people as a whole, dying simply because they can!  It is much harder to actually live than it is to just throw your life away I’ll give you that but let us choose life because after all it is wonderful when you stop and actually take a look. No matter where your from or what you have or don’t have life can be beautiful.

At the end of the day a person with serious problems with addiction need professional and medical help but it isn’t you who just dies, a little piece of us dies with you too.

The reference for the title of this piece comes from a remix version of Amy Whinehouse’s song “rehab” that I heard where the lyrics were something along the lines of “I ain’t got 17 days for rehab” .

The beard, a man’s best accessory.

There are many a celebrity who sport a bad ass beard but let us support our everyday fellows too. Here are some fabulous beards done right. The fourth pic is for those of you unfortunates who cant grow a beard at all, never fear you can wear this hat with a beard crocheted to it. 🙂

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Perhaps your thinking you can’t rock a beard and have been skirting the issue for years by going with the more simplistic goatee? Or maybe friendly Mutton Chops is as far as you’ve ever wanted to go. Or maybe you’re the guy who lets his five o clock shadow come in only on  vacation. You could be that man from down the street whose beard is out of control in a longitude/latitude kind of way and has mayhem written all over it.  Whatever the case, if you have the genetics and the gusto to stick with it  , well it shows women you can commit to something  other than the required eating, sleeping, drinking thing (insert laugh here) and therefore you should be treating your facial hair appropriately. You gotta let it flourish and thrive! You gotta show people you are alive! (yes upon realizing I just wrote a Dr. Zeus rhyme just there I still continued to leave it )

For all the men out there  who can only manage a few specks of hair  or only  grow hair on the parts of your face you don’t want them,  well  I can’t help you . No one can. However the only thing worse than patchy sparse beard hair is clean-shaven men with bumps and other facial atrocities that stem from lack of shaving the right way. So you can continue to read on with enthusiastic fervor!

I am a lover of the beard. For so many reasons, aesthetics for one, demeanor for another and of course if your lucky enough to find  a wonderful beard then those pheromones will call out to you and poof a fabulous man will be underneath. Be warned though, it is the man who makes the beard, not the other way around. After all douche bags come in all forms. But that’s another piece. 🙂

I believe that whether yours is graying or grown out shaggy or trimmed clean-cut for that three-piece suit you have to wear to work you still have to treat it like you treat the hair on your head, if you have any 🙂 or care at all about your over all inner self.. even more reason to be in the know about the up keep of that crazy facial hair.

There  is no one beard for every man. Every length and thickness won’t suffice for everyone. Long and scraggly when taken care of might be hot as hell on a super tall skinny hipster with a homeless-chic kind of get up but might not work for  a sexy guy with the misfortune of being only 5′ 8″ and wears iron, pleated work pans to his place of work. Some other beard might be better for him. And if it’s your first time, or you’ve been rocking the same old thing for a while there are 4 simple rules that’ll get you where you want to be or keep you exactly in the “My beard is awesome”  zone.

1. Wash and condition your beard.

2. Shave your neck properly. Because an awesome beard is no longer awesome  when your neck looks nasty. wherever you decide your beard will grow to on your neck go and shave the rest of the neck below. A single blade is best despite what companies that sell you razors with 5, 6 and 7 double-sided blades will say. It’s absurd,  you’re not shaving the bushes in your front yard your trying to make whatever part you shave smooth enough for a woman to want to actually touch it.

3. Invest in a beard comb or just comb it. You have to. It’s just that simple and if you can’t manage to run a comb through your beard sometimes then you prob don’t ever engage in the first two steps which leads me to believe your either lazy or dirty or both.  So go back to step one.

4Maintain the skin below (meaning your face). It’s important to have clean and healthy skin underneath your beard. So if you suffer from super dry skin those skin cells that flake off, which is natural, can show in your beard and can pile up and you’ll have beard dandruff. So find a men’s moisturizer ( My boyfriend uses a moisturizer made specifically for if you have a beard and can be applied on your neck and face and beard. Which you’ll need anyhow after shaving your neck. It even smells amazing)

 

Great products and razors (This is a list of the stuff my bf uses after lots of trial and error)

       

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These are some great products my boyfriend uses. ( Neutrogena face lotion is optional) Bluebeards Original beard wash, a beard comb made from bone, a straight razor with wooden handle, Bold’s dry shave gel and Blubeards face and neck lotion.

Things you’ll likely face with a full beard

1.Staring                                                                                                                                                                                                          People will inevitably stare at you and if they are smart, it’s in admiration of such an amazing piece of artwork on your face but no matter where you are at some point you will probably be some place or venue where some sad old lady who has had to watch all her friends from 1938 die one at a time look at you weird or some asshole interviewer with the super judge-y eyes that say he’s already decided what kind of person you are. To that I encourage giving the stink eye briefly. hehe

2.Extreme heat  or anything above 70 degrees F.                                                                          A beard in the summer can be a nightmare because well it’s hot and your sweaty and there’s hair on your face and maybe in your head on the hottest day of the year in the subway waiting for a train your screaming in your head Why the hell is this rug on my face raising my body temperature several degrees, and I’m dehydrated too !!!!” I digress. That is  annoying. But a true beard goer will persevere and stick with it. Eventually you get used to it. And that’s that. Beauty and face locks have their price.:-)

Ultimately a full beard can help you see more dimensions of  yourself,  you can be proud of doing something dramatic and seeing it through with pride every single day to end . It takes a lot of determination to keep it up in all facets of life and when you see that you can, you become your better self for it.

If you need some inspiration just think of all the pretty important guys with mad facial swag. Santa, Jesus, Abe Lincoln, Yosemite Sam, Karl Marx, Charles Darwin, Otto the Great. So many.

My favorite beard happens to be that of my better half below, so handsome!!!. Please feel free to add pics of your favorite beard too!

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Yes, you have to shave.

silky smooth

silky smooth

Warning: If you are a woman who goes au naturale then proceed to my next article and skip this one.

Ever been to tired, not in the mood or simply too busy to paint your nails or shave your legs? We all have.

Ladies… let’s have a real discussion about the necessity of shaving/trimming/waxing or whatever it is you do to keep your lady parts up to par. Now one good thing I learned in my 20’s is that even if your single, or only see your man once a week or once a month or whatever the situation you do have to keep your self looking nice. This includes hair, skin, nails etc. I don’t mean that as women we need to always be kept up and looking perfectly pretty for men but we should do it for us and it’s also a nice idea to just in case you do have an actual boyfriend/significant other.

Do’s:

-Do shave/wax your legs regularly ( yes in the winter too) because even in bed alone long hairy legs, short stubbly hairy legs or any kind of hairy legs are just atrocious period.

-Do moisturize (yes, often) as to have wonderfully smooth skin at all times, especially your feet. Its better for your over all skin situation anyhow. Besides I don’t know about anyone else feels  but nothing repels me more than when I haven’t moisturized in a long while, dry flaky body skin on a woman is akin to a man with horrific dandruff.

-Do use a body scrub(sugar or salt) monthly or as often as you can remember (invest in one of those bath and body works kind, they last forever)

-Do keep your nails clipped and shaped even if you don’t wear polish or don’t wear tips. Home mani/pedis are something easily accomplished once every two weeks during your favorite Oxygen re-runs. Scraggly hang nails on a woman are homeless-esque (sorry if that’s not a word but you get what I’m saying) cracked, chipped or yellow looking nails cause nausea in most humans. This is probably scientific fact but I’m not sure.

Don’t’s:

-Don’t expect your Man, lover or significant other to keep themselves looking tidy and decent if you cant.

-Dont engage in sexual activity unless you’ve done the above “Do’s”. Now obviously this isnt always applicable as life and love often take hold of us in the moment but in general I would personally think its rude if one half of a couple is fine with things like ” well its winter so I don’t have to shave” Yes you do!

At the end of the day keeping ourselves beautiful as women is a pretty taxing job that men just will never understand bc they require such little maintenance in comparison to us but to me i think, all the more reason to cherish our bodies and treat them like temples. After all we can bring life into the world, go to work, show up for a PTA meeting, hang with the girls, take an online night class and get that shirt ironed all in the same day if we chose and that’s bc we are awesome! So we should treat ourselves like that.

Sidenote: It should be noted that as a working, busy individual with a personal life and responsibilities it’s obviously not always so easy to tend to what at times can seem like tedious deeds. But I can assure you if you pluck out just a few minutes from every day and add them together at the end of the month you’ll have some hours to pamper and treat yourself.

Products I use coming soon.. 🙂

Milk makes your bones strong?

….. 🙂 References I used for this post…. one is incredibly credible and the other references the first . But I think that makes it more interesting. Enjoy!

 hsph.harvard.edu   (calcium and milk, whats healthy for you bones)  and  Webmd.com (the pros and cons of dairy)

Got Osteoporosis?

This cow  is saying "Mooo,  back off my teats"

This cow is saying “Mooo, back off my teats”

That should be the title of those commercials and ads that we as a society have been bombarded with for way too many years now. I’ve always been of the mindset that if the media and/or any other industry that might further flourish exponentially is super pushing something than I better do some research and see what the medical facts are that do or do not exist. This topic in particular has interested me since I was like 6. I think. Well probably not that long but I was incredibly adverse to milk as a child. Now I know why! ha!

I can’t say for sure if this occurred but I’m certain in 1st grade I rebelled against something. And why not a white creamy substance in a box that my teacher claimed would make my “bones strong” and continue “to grow”. Kindergarten teachers lie sometimes. Mine told me sticks and stones could break my bones but words would never hurt me. Lie! I’m  sure in all my single digit year glory I must have been against it or at the very least questioned how adults got away with pushing mini cartons of milk on me.

FACTS:                                                                                                                                                                                                 The body gets calcium from either a food source or drawing it from the bones themselves if said food source is lacking in calcium bc the blood levels of calcium are too low

Dairy products have the highest concentration of highly absorbable calcium but so do dark leafy greens and beans of all kinds.

Preventing osteoporosis is simple: 1.You have to make the densest, strongest bones  you can before your 30 yrs old bc that’s the age where the ratio of bone production and bone destruction ultimately changes. Meaning at 30 your sort of starting to get old and your bones breakdown more than they remodel. However over consuming milk for your entire childhood is not the way. Bc the second and third ways to prevent osteoporosis and grow strong bones is 2. Get regular exercise. All of you who thinks climbing the five-story walk-up in your apt building does not count. And 3. consume enough Vitamin K.

Currently it is recommended ( to prevent osteoporosis) that we ingest 3 glasses of milk per day…A recommendation that medical professionals are 50-50 on apparently.

Woman in general are at a slightly higher risk of ovarian cancer consuming 3 or more glasses of milk a day! To that I say “what the F!”

Milk is also pretty high in calories, 3 cups of 2% milk has 366 calories. I personally like to save those extra calories for the skittles and sour patch kids I eat at midnight.

Sidenote: According the Harvard school of public health Osteoporosis leads to 300.000 broken hips per year. Poor old people. They also think that there is very little evidence showing milk consumption will lead to less bone fractures as a whole.. hmmmm interesting!

It should also be said that the studies done world-wide for the necessary consumption of milk are all short-term studies on small group studies whereas some medical professionals feel that a better assessment could be made with longer term studies.

 

Anyhow… I have always believed that as a country we consume too much of every freaking thing anyways and that the  way we push milk on parents for kids to drink is crazy. It’s like they are drug dealers and trust me their hustle is like no other, the milk  industry is a 140 Billion dollar industry .(you can buy a lot of Twizzlers with that). We give the population zero information on why it is or isn’t beneficial.(How many of yours parent researched every item in your diet as a kid?)

It simply turns out that when you do the research you can argue it either way. I simply choose not drink milk to get the necessary Vit D, Vit K or anything else I can get from healthy green vegetables, beans, tubers, potatoes etc that ultimately are better for you in the long run.

Hope this doesn’t discourage anyone from enjoying their favorite bovine beverage with a PBandJ.

On a positive note every 1 million dollars in U.S. milk sales creates 17 jobs. so there.

Look for my next Bovine article about the process in which we get milk from cows because its pretty damn barbaric.

eyebrows-things i learned in my 20’s

Eyebrows

So we all know or maybe have a sort of kinda like idea about how a woman’s eyebrows should be and/or how they look best. Now this DOES NOT include every single persons creative right as individuals to design, sculpt or shape their way into eyebrow infinity as they would like. That being said there are just some eyebrows that are just too damn much for every single generation and/or never carry over into day time wear. ie: your eyebrows might be sorta busted so please take note.

For example, The tiny itty bitty, super thin charcoal painted eyebrows that girls sacrifice their dignity for. It’s like they’ve shaved them off only to have a new palate only to draw in horrific sci-fi ones with a black sharpie marker( never ever taking into consideration their face shape or size and/or the public’s general gag reflex.. Bye! it’s horrendous and anyone who doesn’t agree with this should be excited they are even reading this blog so I can further help some of you who perpetrate the ” your eyebrows are jacked” zone..

Sidenote: if you have paper thin U shape eyebrows you are within the parameters for ratchet behavior.

Ever see a super  hot woman, like one that you think of maybe cheating on your gf with  for like 2 secs or one that actually caused traffic accidents bc every single genetic molecule is placed with perfection… and then this girl has ferns for eyebrows? Sad right?

Now, The first photo is what I believe to be a fruitful example of not over-plucking, over-waxing etc. My cousin as you will see on the right simply plucks a few eyebrow hairs here and there along the NATURAL SHAPE of her eyebrow. Fabulous!!!!

A great website to get started on turning you horrid eyebrows into something worthy of actually staring at is eyebrowz.com

And the next time you think a guy is only looking at your boobs bc he’s a pig, its bc your eyebrows are making it hard for him to look at your face. 🙂

This is myself and my cousin who has fantabulous brows.

This is myself and my cousin who has fantabulous brows.

Perfect example of what happens if you choose a night of drunken tatoo parlor visits and and bad choices as a whole.

Perfect example of what happens if you choose a night of drunken tattoo parlor visits and bad choices as a whole.

This is an example of "almost got it right except you didn't because you got crazy with that brown eyeliner "
This is an example of “almost got it right except you didn’t because you got crazy with that brown eyeliner ”

This is a common mistake when a woman has over shaved or whatever has happened here.
This is a common mistake when a woman has over shaved her eyebrows gone or whatever has happened here.